On a Very Personal Note...

Last week was a challenge for me. I reached my emotional threshold, which does not happen often as I almost always find the time I need for myself at least weekly. But, as life happens, the last few weeks have not found any personal me time. This weekend has been a time of reflection while working through the difficulties in a very physical way.

A little background... in April, I decided things in my life had to change. As part of this I decided it was time again to focus keenly on achieving my physical fitness goals. Fortuantely for me, when I'm under a lot of stress, and am dealing with some personal issues, I find a huge solace in working it through in a very physical means.

At first, I was walking nearly 10 miles a day, but it wasn't enough, so I added intensity to the walking. Soon, though, walking wasn't as cathartic as it had always been, and I started adding the elliptical to the routine. I did cut back on some of the walking, bringing it back to 3-5 miles a day.

An hour on the elliptical began to be not enough, and I added the stationary bike to the mix for fun. Here it is September, and as I think about my personal goal for the week, I just let the group I converse with on these weekly goals know that I am wanting to add intensity to my workout and increase my strength training. Of course, that said, and those who know me, know that I'm a highly competitive person--especially with myself. Case-in-point, yesterday on the bike, I felt the need to best my last round. Last session I had done 13.3 mph, so this time I had to do better. And I did, I did 13.9mph... and as great as that might be, I got off the bike thinking, if I had worked just a little harder, I'd have hit 14mph. Ahh, next time.

Maybe the problems will never be resolved as I run like a hampster in the wheel on an elliptical, but I gain some clarity by the end, and here it is September, and I'm over half-way to my weight loss goal that I set in April, I'm eating healthier and generally much more physically healthier. And somehow, in some weird and bizarre way, while I don't feel that I'm any closer to figuring things out the things in my head, I do feel that I'm also a lot more mentally healthy than I've been in a very long time.