What would Hunter do?

In speaking with several people recently given the current political climate in the state of Michigan and the upcoming election choices, or lack thereof, I have decided to run for governor this year as a write in candidate. It seems the only right thing to do in the face of hopeless incompetence this November.

So, I hereby officially announce that I will solicit, pay for and otherwise entrust your right to vote to my candidacy for Michigan governor this November. Since Michigan foolishly does not yet recognize a Freak Power ticket and I have not filled out all the paperwork, you will have to write me in this November. Fortunately, I have a very easy name to spell…

Why, you wonder, might I be qualified to be your governor? It’s a fair question. The answer is that by any conventional political sensibility, I’m grossly incompetent and unqualified… however, that has not stopped Jennifer Granholm or Dick DeVoss. Nor has it really ever stopped any candidate for governor before them.

What I do bring is an innate knowledge that the politicking in this State to date has brought upon us a terrible structure. Much like a company whose management has lost connection with its employees, market and own structure, Michigan needs some serious revamping and repositioning. There is no current accountability, and I, I am wiling to take the blame for my mistakes and work to correct them, and the ones made before me… just like most of us do everyday in real life.

If you want a real awakening as to the state of the State of Michigan, try navigating their website. That will be the first line of business—make the government accessible by the people. There is no need to hide information. I won’t threaten you that allowing trash from Canada poses a terrorism threat… I say do away with all trash from Canada, and the first line of business with respect to that would be barring Celine Dion. Seems only right. Oh, but we will take their drugs… our seniors need them, they can’t afford them here. Medicare Part D. Fuck it, I’m opening the borders.

So, folks, there it is… my “OFFICIAL” announcement. It’s time to get out the vote.