Fierce and mighty jungle kitties

At the risk of sounding like the weird cat lady, my kitties are truly amazing creatures. Earlier this evening, as I made a lame-ass attempt at my pilates, I saw Calvin standing off by the door, when suddenly, he crouched, he leapt, he pounced--he drank some water... yes, he leapt to pounce his water dish. He acted as it is was the most normal act in the world. Vinnie sat on the chair watching the scene, he seemed as if it all made sense to him.

That's the thing about cats, they seem like whatever they do is completely normal and it makes sense. They have this carpet toy with a small tunnel and post. Items are not allowed inside the tunnel. This is apparently understoof between all kitties. So, if a toy ventures into the tunnel, it is cause for big stir and MAJOR pouncing.

Speaking of ... my 20 pound "lap cat" is edging out the laptop... it is time for bed.

G'nite.

Intellectual Theft

Did Dan Brown swipe a few ideas for "The DaVinci Code?" That is the question d'jour... seems that the authors of "The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail" think so; they are suing Random House for intellectual theft. They contend Brown took their research as the basis for his fictional novel that purported the Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married and their bloodline continues into present day. It isn't an earth shattering contention; but after 30 million copies sold and a movie starring Tom Hanks, there is a lawsuit.

I don't want to diminish the seriousness of intellectual theft, but the DaVinci Code is fiction--and if Brown borrowed ideas from the research of someone else to make his fictional story (which clearly highlights the attributes of its main character and seems a little self-serving)... well, that is fiction folks. Now, I'm not sure, but I would make a guess that this is all a bit overblown--much like Brown's book itself. I enjoyed the book, but it doesn't deserve the hype. I think it is more a case of we have a good writer who told an interesting story and we are so starved a culture for something decent that doesn't require a PhD we will grasp onto the first thing that isn't Harry Potter.

That'd be it for the day. Bis spater...

Promoting Illiteracy???

It has been months since I have bothered to read the online version of my hometown newspaper--in part, because there isn't much in there of relevance to me, and if it is, my mother usually tells me about it. But because today seems such a slow news day, I thought I would drop in and see what was up... an interesting op ed piece on the Native American origins of the Groundhog Day tradition (Can't we pass that off to another culture, please?)... and then my favorite arrogant editor who did not feel like pontificating on politics for a Monday, listed out a series of trivia facts... many of which I already knew. And then I got to thinking about one he included: "Twenty-two percent of Americans are functionally illiterate; fewer than 10 percent are trilingual." The irony amuses and sickens me.

This is not a shocking statistic if you pay attention to these kinds of things; but when you consider that the newspaper in question really did very little--and continues to do very little--to support the library expansion in the community, you have to wonder. You have to wonder why a newspaper would do little to promote literacy in the community... their sales are not that great. I'm not just saying it is this community or this particular paper--I'm talking generally now. Libraries were once highly regarded insitutions and yet, now they fall miserably behind the latest punt, pass or kick. Sort of, even the Olympics lost out to American Idol.

I remember when I was at Central Michigan and the controversy as I was leaving was that the library needed an expansion (and it seriously did--they had no room for new books and storage was running low), but see, the Univerity made the althletic training facility top priority. I came across a quote the other day that I'm reminded of now: "If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to a library." Well put, Mr. Zappa, may you rest in peace.

I propose that many journalists (there are some for whom this does not apply) do not want to promote literacy in this country for the following reasons:

1. Journalism is not the most literate form of writing. Those who can read and think have little respect for most journalists. Those who cannot read think journalists are intelligent and know a lot. The journalist will take that 22 percent.

2. No one wants the President to figure out what is going on.

3. There is power in maintaining a caste system--which illiteracy, one could argue, creates.

Aside from #2, I think these are the main reasons, on a more subconscious level, for why so little is done by the print media to promote reading and literacy in the U.S. Disagree with me if you want to... I encourage it, actually, but think about what would happen to journalism--especially small papers, if we had 100 percent literacy in this country, and 22 percent more of the population actually read and thought about what was printed on a daily basis. The implications, I believe, are huge; the havoc would be wreaked.

Mahalo.

Probing Minds Want to Know

When you see the headline that reads George Michael has been arrested in drug probe, you have certain expectations for reading said article. Like, and only as an example, there would be an actual drug probe and not that the man was slumped over the steering wheel of his parked car with a few seeds and some E nearby. Really, that was the story, but because that isn't worthy of the fantastical headline, we had to revisit the whole lewd acts arrest from a few years ago, his sexual oreintation and whether he will or will not, in fact, marry his partner. And I wonder, how long we will have to endure the Wham! references? I bet George wonders that as well. Andrew, who?

Fingering the Fame

Sometime ago, I started to get bored by the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame rituals and inductions and such... in fact, there is only the highlight in my mind of Prince purposefully and fantastically upstaging Tom Petty during a performance of "As my guitar gently weeps" at the induction ceremony with Jordan Zevon laughing next to him. It was an iconoclastic moment--and by the very concept of rock and roll, there should be many more. Every so often, something in music shakes the monotony, in 1978, it was the Sex Pistols and in 2006, it is them again. They are "refusing" their Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction. For the official, handwritten announcement regarding the urine-like state of the Hall of Fame and the astute proclaimation, "Your not paying attention" check Johnny Rotten's Official Site.

I may have to tune in this year, if only to see what they do say about the Pistols... how good would it be if John Lydon (aka Rotten) did show up... unannounced, ensuing his own brand of anarchy on the ceremony? It would be entertaining, but sad. I think the handwritten note is enough, with its bad spelling and form and all... the absence is noted. But it isn't just the absence at the ceremony--there is a general absence in the music industry of rebellion. Early rap and hip/hop provided that in the much needed way that punk had... but that is gone, lost in commericalism and sales and MTV.

Sid Vicious threw on a Swastica and an Anarchy symbol never clearly understanding what either meant politically, but just knew that it would piss people off. We are too heightened to sensitivity now for that--so when someone like Eminem comes out and sings about how he fantasizes about killing his wife, it shakes people's sensibilities to the core. Em paid the price for creative license and injecting the music industry with acrimony; but no where near the price Vicious paid. And isn't that always how it goes...?

We can never have another truly punk moment, but Lydon's statement is as close as we will ever get. It doens't matter what any of the remaining Pistols do--if they tour again or what have you, they can never re-gain what they did in the late 70s. It is the plague that has been many an artists downfall. Look at Michael Jackson (and I cringe at having to mention him in this discussion), he is the poster boy for you can never go back again, but he has never come to that realization. Prince and Madonna--who were part of that big 1983/84 scene as well realized it very quickly and moved on. They knew that kind of cataclysmic event was a once in a lifetime deal: a Purple Rain or a Like a Virgin were a one time deal and they both quickly moved passed it in order to save their creative selves. Since, they have both had the chance to provide some critically and commerically susccessful work, but nothing that stirs the masses and ignites people.

Certainly they have both challenged the status quo... everyone joked about "The Artist Formerly Known as Prince" when he changed his name to an unpronoucable symbol and scrawled "Slave" across his cheek during performances. And the joke was the irony that he'd been paid well, he shouldn't fight the system that allowed him his creative freedoms. But it wasn't funny... Prince was contending the system that did not allow him to own his creative renderings... Isn't that the same fight the recording industry is having with illegal downloading and music sharing right now? At the core, it is. The artists want to own and be paid fairly for their work. It was a industry joke when it was at a personal level between the Artist and Warner Bros. but no one is laughing now.

There will be time for an awakening again soon... in the meantime, we are stuck with the likes of K-Fed putting out an album and the raucous silence from New York this year as the Sex Pistols finger the industry once again.

Sharing my genius?

Each morning, or afternoon, depending on how the life of email is going to take its unique form for the day, I receive a horoscope... which is a sad summation of a larger, more complex set of astrological renderings... but I digress. Today, Saggitarians, it seems, are encouraged to "Share their genius" with the world. So here I am baby! A super fucking genius, with more to say on a Sunday morning than most would probably want to hear... but my horoscope says I have to. LOL

Actually, I've been thinking that my astrological wellness is a bit off-kilter lately. I'm not sure why... I don't understand the whole science behind the planetary movements as it relates to my being--I wish I did, it does fascinate me.... regardless, prepare to be mesmerized with a lot of Saggitarian genius today. Just what the world needs!

Here's the deal on Crow

Someone asked me why, after mentioning in my previous post about Sheryl Crow having breast cancer that I would not have mentioned earlier the break up between Sheryl and Lance Armstrong. It is very simple, I will explain: I have a great respect for Sheryl Crow as an artist—on par with my regard for Bob Dylan and Hunter Thompson. Sheryl and Lance did not live their lives publicly; their public lives together was a result of both their careers—they did not talk or do reality shows, they did not offer to sell their intimate pictures, and they quietly went about their lives together. Yes, there was an announcement about the engagement and ensuing break up, but it was more about securing some sense of privacy than exploiting themselves.

So, there ya go… I’m sure the splitsville for Nick and Jessica is not easy, but it wouldn’t be in normal circumstances… when you live your marriage and life for the camera—don’t expect that you can stop when it gets hard and things fall apart.

Britney made her career out of exploitation of herself… her talent did not make her. Some people use that exploitation and can then turn it around to be about their talent, but they have to have the talent to begin with… the uber-example would be Madonna; to a lesser extent, is Brit’s contemporary, Christina Aguilera. Once fame sets in though, the exploitation doesn’t just go away, no matter how much talent is in that little pinky finger. .

Then there are the people whose careers and talent will burden them forever to the paparazzi. Queue Jennifer Aniston. Hopefully, she will do enough movie roles and have enough diversity in the next few years to quit being everyone’s favorite friend and Rachel can be set aside… at least somewhat. Rachel created a phenom like no other and as a result, Aniston will forever be a gossip column fave—as will her now ex-hubby by association. Brad Pitt was never the center of focus like he was once he married Aniston… and now he will carry that with him.

Angelina Jolie—well, she’s just kinda weird and has gotten involved in some really WTF situations. I actually respect her to a degree for the work she does with the UN. She’s tried to take the Audrey Hepburn route, unfortunately, she hasn’t been able to achieve that… after all, I doubt Audrey would have done Lara Croft-type roles.

So there it is… now, it isn’t to say that I’m blinded by my respect for the person as an artist. I laughed out loud and cringed at the same time when Dylan did the Victoria Secret commercials. It was great, and deserved the irony factor it created. Dennis Rodman doing it—well that made sense, sadly. And, Sheryl has definitely had her share of over-exposure—I know I personally got really tired of her and Stevie Nicks being joined at the hip a while back… but when she comes out with lines like, “All our pop stars look like porn,” well, it’s great and it is precisely why I make the Dylan comparison (though certainly not a first for Crow)—she takes her environment, like all artists, and translates it to lyrics beautifully and uniquely. She changes her style but for her art, she speaks to a generation and it can translate feelings in a way that many artists never achieve. Truthfully, I don’t think she will completely be understood in her time—or any time soon for that matter. She doesn’t have the best voice, her instrumentation isn’t that terrific (though she clearly works hard at it), but her words and ability to feel the music are extraordinary.

And that’s my deal.

Do Something. Live well.

Every year, more than 200,000 women (and men) are diagnosed with breast cancer. It is a phenomenal number really--and scary. There are over 2 million living in the U.S. with breast cancer at any given time. It was announced this week that Sheryl Crow has just underwent surgery for breast cancer and will be following up with radiation treatment as a precaution. It always strikes me when a celebrity announces their battle with cancer and not in the way that makes me beat my head into a wall when they annouce a pregnancy or something like that.

Here's the deal... Sheryl Crow publically announcing and allowing people to hear about her treatment will actually encourage more women to learn about the disease--education leads to early detection and a much higher survivial rate. If not for Crow's former fiance, Lance Armstrong, the public discussion of testicular cancer would not have ensued. I'm guessing Armstrong's courage to speak the words and share his story has saved the lives of un-countable men.

Think about even the public discourse on AIDS. Prior to the early 90s, there was not a whole lot of serious discussion about AIDS and the focus was on how it killed and affected gay men and IV drug users. Enter Arthur Ashe. He did not want to publically announce his condition, but media pressure and threats caused him to do so. Ashe's announcement, however painful for him, really helped to change the public discourse and change peoples perception about AIDS victims. Magic Johnson was another case, though sadly, players still refused to be on the court with him. One of my favorite quotes during that time came from Dennis Rodman who said he didn't care--"I couldn't care less if the guy I'm guarding has HIV. I'm going to slam him anyway."

Last year, I did the 3-Day Walk for breast cancer; not because I have breast cancer, or because anyone in my family that I know of has breast cancer--but because it educates, it creates awareness and adds to the seriousness. It opens the public discourse in a way that doesn't diminish the value of the topic. I did it because I could, and some people cannot. I did it because you don't wait around for you or someone you know to get sick before you take action.

First they came for the Communists but I was not a Communist so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Socialists and the Trade Unionists but I was not one of them, so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Jews but I was not Jewish so I did not speak out. And when they came for me, there was no one left to speak out for me. ~ Martin Niemoeller

In the past, I have done the breast cancer walks, the juvenile diabetes walks, the premature births walks, and the latter I do again this year. You can view my page, donate or sign up for yourself at WalkAmerica. If you are interested in more information on breast cancer and what you can do to help support research efforts, please visit the Susan G Komen Foundation page. If you would like more information on the work Lance Armstrong's organization is doing, please visit LIVESTRONG. Whatever you do, do something.

Playing with fiction

Big news out today, in case you hadn't heard... it was learned today that a best-seller author's book may not have been COMPLETELY fiction. Yes, folks, someone's fiction was deceptively based on pure, cold truth!! The publishing world, needless to say, is in a dither. Intellectuals the world over are calling for a re-examination of what these labels really mean... fiction, non-fiction, self-help, memoirs... says one insider:

We might have to scrap this whole labeling system, clearly it is causing us some serious media attention. Usually, we don't like to make a stir. The plus side is that all this attention is getting people interested in learning what books are used for... I overheard one kid on the train say that he only used to use books for propping up his monitor, but some of them kind of have interesting things inside of them.

When speaking with another fiction author on the condition of anonymity, he doth say, "It is a shame when someone claiming to write fiction uses the truth... it speaks poorly for all of us. People depend on us to take them away from reality--not shove it in their faces."

Touche.

**Please note that the above story is completely false. It seems ludicrous, because it is--but that is what we have come to, isn't it?**

TomKat... It's gettin' katty...

Rumors in both directions still keep filling gossip columns across the nation as to whether or not Tom and Katie are headed for custody battle or a Scientology alter... either way, Tom still creeps me out and I'm fearful for the day when Katie hatches. Pre-nup rumor abound, PR people are earning their paychecks and I even read that the Holmes Ohio Clan is setting for an intervention to keep her from marrying the freak.

No worries. Brad and Angelina will regain the spotlight soon enough.

Frey-ed nerves

Despite strong sales of both of this books, James Frey was dropped by his publisher today. I've said it a hundred times, this is completely ridiculous. It makes me want to scream. Clearly, since his "A Million Little Pieces" is number 2 on Amazon's sales and "My Friend Leonard" number 5 on the hardcover sales list, not too many people seem to think he is all that bad. The whole situation is fucking stupid... I hope Frey gets another publisher soon. I mean, how can we take a talented writer and silence him then allow a Guns'n'Roses comeback? Where, O sweet child of mine, is the freaking justice?

And, you know it is a sign that you should go to bed when a Steven Segal movie suddenly and viciously comes blazing across your television screen. Another shining example that there is no justice in the creative world.

Fin.

Sex, tapes and the guilty

Seems the latest trend is to sue your drug dealer... Suge Knight is doing it, and some guy in Berlin thought the police could help him obtain a refund--yes, you read that right--a REFUND on some marijuana he claimed was bad. You can read about the second case here. As for Suge--ain't worth your time reading about his lawsuit, it has nothing to do with drugs and is a case the guilty pointing fingers.

Speaking of the guilty pointing fingers... what a difference a day can make! Martha vs. The Donald... apparently, friends no more. Gee, what a shame.

And then there's Bond, James Bond. Bondites all over the place are quite upset over the new Bond being blond and dorky. Well, dorky was never really a problem before (queue Roger Moore), but there is a website even to boycott the new Bond flick...

Speaking of mysogynistic men, Kid Rock is suing over the sex tape that was made feature him, Scott Strapp and four groupies. And the internet is all a buzz searching for said sex tape. Regardless, Kid Rock won a small victory today to have the tape sales halted. Chances are, it will sell and he will end up getting a cut of the profit. Much the same way Paris Hilton and someone else I could careless about did when their sex tapes were made public.

Otherwise, that's all folks....

The hard and fast rules...

So, it happened once upon a time... and today, it became a rule--etched in stone, for everyone's amusement.

If he isn't gay, he must want me.

Someone pointed out a book to me recently called "Dating like a Man." And along those lines, in a moment of testosterone influx today, the thought occurred to me, and so I mentioned to Leah via IM, that this is the new fast and hard rule of the day. Oh yeah, baby... they all want me.

ROTFLMAO

And on that uber-egotistical thought of the day... mahalo.

The Donald VS. The Martha

In a who's who of reality show failure, Martha and the Donald are debating via the journalist interest of feeding gossip and celebrity rivalry who is to fault for the failure of the Martha Stewart Apprentice Show. But there is no bad feelings between these two... and really why would there be--they are both uber-egotistical and neither would listen to what the other really had to say. But, in a showdown in a rink, my money would be on Martha. The Donald may play dirty, but The Martha's done time.

Yo! V.I.P. Let's Kick It!

...If there was a problem...

K-Fed.

...Yo!...

He's ready for the backlash.

...I'll solve it...

He's going solo.

...check out the hook...

He wants to get respect in the music biz without Britney.

...while my DJ revolves it...

You know, it really is one of those 'what the fuck' moments like no other. K-Fed has been talking about this new "rap" album he's putting out. He's got one of the songs on his site, which has apparently gotten 2 million hits--which he says is an indication that people are really interested. Oh, yeah, people are interested--they like watching a car wreck in progress.

Aside from the fact that this supposed album will be coming out sometime "soon." K-Fed wants us to know that while he has collaborated with Brit, he wants people to like him for him before he shares his, um, collaboration with Brit. Sorry, K-Fed, but there is something scarier than you putting out a rap album -- Brit rapping with you. There are only a few little white blonde girls that have gotten away with rapping, and Britney will not achieve the level of a Debbie Harry anytime in her career.

And, as for K-Fed, maybe he isn't quite old enough to remember Vanilla Ice??? Too bad, really, he could have learned something there... and spared us all the rubba-necking.

Another Lazy Weekend

It was another lazy weekend of doing not a whole lot of anything. Saturday, I did manage to get some stuff done around the house... but not anywhere near what I planned on or should have.

Today, I had plans to go to lunch and a movie. It was a terrific outing; I had a huge salad and some soup and then went to see Rumor Has It... What a terrifically fantastic movie (yes, I know, I'm a little behind). I just love Shirley MacLaine... and as dad would say--there were a lot of actors in this movie! Jennifer Aniston deserves an Oscar for being convincing enough that you believed her character actually slept with Kevin Costner's. I usually don't like Kevin Costner, either, but he was tamed in this movie and it was quite good all the way around. I can't wait to see it again.

Otherwise, I managed to post a New View this weekend and am finishing up a second View to go up tonight as well...

Mahalo.

The Power of Pink

And just when I bought a new cell over the summer, they come out with the Razr in pink... dammit!! Oh well, the face plate probably doesn't glow blue, and that was the reason I bought the one I have. Superfiscal, yes, but it also has the functionality I wanted plus some I don't even care about...

But a pink phone would be cool... and a nice accessory for those pink days--like yesterday.

Basic Instinct 2

Just saw the trailer for Basic Instinct 2... it's sexy. Sharon Stone is sexy and the movie looks to be just as inticing as the first--and just as smart. It's the first movie being released I've really wanted to see since Sin City.

Oh, yeah, and Sharon's hair is long and straight in this movie... which suits her well.

March 31 ... 6 weeks and counting!

B-ing Rude

As all washed up gay musicians with a serious drug problem should do, Boy George launched his line, B-Rude, today at London's Fashion Week with much hoopla and harrah. So, all in all, B-George ended Fashion Week much the way he started it--grabbing all the attention. At least this one doesn't involve pending charges, even if both probably did involve handcuffs :)

Speaking of rudeness, Nick Lachey is suing for alimony from his soon to be ex. Apparently their marriage did not provide him the career boost it did for Jessica... Maybe he should have gotten the plastic surgery.

And, it has been a while since we had a good sex tape scandal to vigorously scan the internet for... and there is nothing like two ugly rockers tag-teaming groupies to make you try to download the footage. Kid Rock is making Detroit proud with his sex tape that was made when he toured with former Creed frontman Scott Strapp. Not that the two sword fought in the video... or so the story says. I am personally not that interested in a 45 minute tape of these two doing anything. Honestly, it seems a little predictable for Kid Rock and Strapp, well, I've always just found him annoying.

Ridiculous Headlines

Oh good goddess... Tom and Katie (or, as I was recently reminded: TomKat) may sue over the story that was print indicating they were splitsville. Nothing fosters love and romance like litigation. Tom is insane. Wasn't this the same guy who sued (or tried to) over rumors he was gay? Did no one tell him part of the Hollywood gig is you have to endure rumors and let it roll off... I mean, if he didn't want it questioned, he shouldn't have done Top Gun or Interview with the Vampire and all those movies where he clearly portrayed homosexual men. I would even question All the Right Moves... that underwear scene--scandalous. LOL

But Willie Nelson's not afraid to come out of the closet after all these years--he bravely recorded and released a song about cowboys being secretly gay... some could call it a Brokeback following... I call it WTF, the song was written back in 81.

Otherwise, Cheney finally spoke, and said nothing. Big surprise.

And then, there is American Idol... eh, who the fuck cares?

All broken up

Tom and Katie are denying reports that they have broken up... Oh yeah, that rock solid relationship formed in some weird alient pod seems like it might have cracked, and the podlings are holding on--via a spokesperson--to say they are as solid as ever. That's right guys, you hold on... I've got April in the pool.

Speaking of people I'd rather not think about reproducing, media whores Paula Abdul and Dr Phil are working together to get Paula laid... er, help her find deep and meaningful love. Paula is joing the ranks of Match.com'ers... Look for this "sweet and sassy gal" winking at you sometime soon.

And since we are talking about media whores, George Clooney isn't expecting to win one of the Oscars for which he is nominated. Thankfully, he cleared up that issue for us, we were deeply concerned.

Beware of Cheney

You know, when I read the headline that Cheney shot a man while hunting on a ranch in Texas, I had kinda laughed thinking he'd shot Dubya. Not the case... but now, the many he shot--a lawyer--has suffered a heart attack as a result of the pellet lodged in his heart. My question is, will Cheney be charged?

The Word of the Day

Imagine my utter delight when I came upon today's Word of the Day: concupiscence--a wickedly delightful word meaning lust.

Sunday School Lessons

I'm out of bed much earlier on a Sunday morning than I would like to be; especially considering the fantastical dreams I was having when a hungry cat pounced my head (who, by the way, is now sleeping peacefully on my legs). So I am up, not thrilled about it, eating breakfast, drinking chai and reading the news from the last few days where I was preoccupied with the runway...

Rueters reported that Eli Lilly did a survey recently (they make Cialis, a anti-impotence drug) of married men and women in Korea, France, Japan and the US. And the survey says... French men have the most satisfactory sex lives of the four countries. Full report to be released in time for Valentines Day--ahh, the romance. I wonder, do you think Eli Lilly and Pfizer will go the way of Necco and turn their pills into something like conversation hearts for the "holiday?" Just think of all the cute sayings that your little blue heart-shaped pill could say:
Pick me up
Into You
Jump Me
Wake Up
Yes, Again
Once More
Good 4 U?
Too Good
Yeah Baby
3-some

And then, my mind digresses into XXX from there... hmmm
................................................................
................................................................
................................................................
................................................................
sorry, I required a moment.

Other news from Rueters this morning, and I had actually watched the video of this from the Today Show last week, Cruch (a chain gym), that launched the Cardio Striptease aerobics class has developed a stilettos workout to get women into "shape" for their heels. Apparently, it was started when a woman was complaining at the gym about having to get back into heel mode for the winter. Funny, I wear more heels in the summer, myself, but understand the senitment.

Summer tends to be a bit more laissez-faire for most, and women can get away with more flats because of the traditional break in fashion for the season--even in the workplace--and can wear sandals. I love sandals, as well, but most of mine come with a heel of at least 3 inches. While many women are getting their feet in shape for heels, I am assessing my pedicure stragety for the strappy sandal months.

But, I digress. I find it amazing, actually, that someone just thought of this idea to provide exercise options for women to be able to not only wear heels, but walk in them properly. That is the key, really. Not that you can put them on, but can you function in them. I've seen so many women lumbering down the sidewalk like they have bricks attached to their feet with razor blades... I feel for them. A few weeks ago, actually, I was tempted to illegally park my car, get out and explain to the woman I saw that it doesn't have to be this way. So, that said, here are Nikki's Rules for Wearing Anything with a Heel...

1. Shop smart. Just because you think it is cute and you can get it on doesn't mean you should buy it. This is a hard one, I know, especially when there is a sale, but trust me... no amount of savings will make those shoes easier to wear. Learn your feet, learn your shoes and apply the knowledge in the store. This is not an easy one to master, but it will be the most beneficial. If you need help, I'm there.

2. Don't go 16 hours out of the box. OK, so I'm evern really guilty of this one from time to time because it is exciting to get that new pair of shoes (or 4 new pairs of shoes) and you want to wear them out. Plan it logically. Some shoes, you can wear out of the box for 16 hours straight--you will know it instinctively based on experience... and just so you know, this does not mean tennis shoes--I, personally, cannot wear a new pair of tennis shoes for more than a few hours at a time--my feet are not conditioned to it and I blister. This goes back up to number one; know your feet. If you think, even slightly, that the shoes you just bought and are dying to wear will cause you pain after 2-3 hours, only wear them 2 hours. There is nothing wrong with wearing them around the house or for a quick errand to break them in. Once you have gotten them used to you, and you used to them--life will be good.

3. Realize not all shoes are 16 hour shoes; do not leave home without a shoe plan. Branching off of number 2. Not every pair of shoes you will buy will be able to make a 16 hour day. I have some stilettos that I can and have worn from 7 a.m. to 2 a.m. Those, my friends, are a rare and wonderful find. The others, have to be strategized. Day shoes, evening shoes, in case I break my leg rollerblading shoes... think about your day and your activities and wear accordingly. It is almost like I'm saying be senisble--and as much as I hate that word in relation to shoes, it is kind of appropropriate... It will not make sense to wear 4 inch boots if you are walking for cardio exercise at lunch; wear the boots, bring the walking shoes--plan ahead. It's not sensible, it's simple.

4. Do not think your ankles are your only weakness. There is a reason there is a class. Ankle stength while wearing heels is important, but it is not the only part of the equation. Wearing heels requires that your ankles, calves, quads and abs are in condition. Abs, you say? Yep. Think about how you walk. In fact, get up and walk across the room without shoes on and come back--I'll wait. Seemed fairly straight forward and non-thinking, right? Strap on a pair of heels and do the same. Did you walk differently? If you answered yes, you need the class. Here's what I mean... when you walk without shoes on, you do not tend to notice which muscles you are using, but try it again and pay really close attention. How is your posture between no shoes vs heels? How do your legs feel? How does your stomach feel? How is your balance? These are all things that a legs and abs workout provides. This class isn't genius, it's taking a legs, butt, abs workout and adding 15 minutes to the end to give women the confidence to wear heels AND giving them som direction on the way to walk in them--because they think EEEK; heels!

5. Shoes are meant to be worn. They may look really good in your closet, but they look better on your feet. It doesn't matter what you pay for a pair of shoes, whether it be $10 or $3500 (yes, there are shoes that cost that much and yes, I know where to get them), wear them--there is no such thing as shoes for special occassions--every day you wear them is a special occassion. My mother once told me that women foolishly pay more for their wedding dresses, which they wear only once than they do for the shoes to wear under it--but the shoes can be worn again and should cost more than the dress if you are smart.

And that, my friends, concludes this entry.

The Fashion Week Recap

So, I have not yet been able to get the highlights from Ralph Lauren’s show… but whatever. Here’s what I thought about some of my favorite designers lines for Fall 2006.

Vera Wang… lots of umpire waists, which are not flattering on anyone. I mean, these even make even the most anorexic models look pregnant… only pregnant women can wear this look and have it seem right and decent.

Michael Kors… classic sexiness as usual from Kors. He featured mostly shades of brown, which was a bit boring—as were his gowns. But, for everyday looks, Kors is still king.


Carlos Miele… his dresses were quite simple and I thought not very palatable bar one. He had the most fabulous white strapless gown. The picture here doesn’t do it justice, but the runway clip was spectacular. Trust me.


Bill Blass… Blass is the quintessential classic—especially with the looks from the 80s coming back into fashion, Blass’ looks are comfortable again. Large thick waist belts, chic dresses and Blass isn’t afraid of color. His reds were vibrant even and he brought out very fall yellows, greens, purples. Blass also is not afraid to let his clothing define the female form.

Sweetface by J Lo… I was going to save her for the end, but since much of what I have to say about Blass also applies to Lopez, it seems appropriate to add it in here. Sweetface was very feminine, very lacy and very sexy… Even the running suit was incredibly sexy. Jennifer has always let her clothes reveal the body and has something to emphasize everyone’s good points and minimize the “bad.” Her line looks to understand rather than underestimate.


Oscar de la Renta… Sleek angles, signature dresses, glamour—de la Renta doesn’t disappoint and his Red Carpet runway is sure to show up on the Red Carpet. Simply beautiful.

BCBG MaxAzria… Very bohemian chic, as expected. A lot of very muted color, a lot of very loose and flowly fabrics with a very nice illusion of sheerness. A very pouty look.

And that, was Fashion Week…

Horrifying and frightful encounters

I wasn't going to comment on the latest Britney headline--if you've been one of the 10 or so people lucky enough to not hear about the child endangerment of Sean Preston, I advise you to leave now so as not to pollute your mind... so, Brit was trying to escape Starbucks and the paparazzi were just too aggressive and she "instinctively" did what she could to get her and baby out of harms way. Apparently, to do this, she needed to put the baby in another dangerous and potentially harmful situation by driving with the baby on her lap. She admits, it was probably a mistake, but she was just trying to be a good mom. I think Britney feels her only mistake was getting caught on film. This was not the first time she has neglected to put the baby in a car seat, there are other pictures to these allegations--but no charges are being filed at this time. Of course not.

I wonder what it was, exactly, that Britney's bodyguard was doing? He was there.

It isn't that I mean to be unsympathetic; I imagine it is not easy to live your life with photographers following around... however, I think, to a point, when you use that to make your career, it is kinda hard later on to come out and say you don't want it. You cannot have it both ways. It was not Brit's voice or talent that made her famous... and there are ways to remove yourself from the mix--going on Access Hollywood to talk about the incident is not one of them. You do not go to the paparazzi to cry about how they treat you and expect it to go away.

Furthermore, when you auction off pictures of your newborn baby to the highest magazine bidder, well, you can expect a certain level of disrespect. Now, Brit ended up not taking the money--reportedly--but they were still there, exposing her and a baby who has no choice in the matter and no idea that this is not a normal life he will have... Some parents save for college for their kids... I hope Brit and K-Fed are saving for rehab.

Fiscal Love Year 2006... Or the V-Day Resolutions

V-Day Resolutions 2006

It’s that time again. Valentine’s Day Resolutions. I started the ritual the same time as always, the beginning of February, browsing through the “great tome,” finding the chapter and re-reading it for the Michael Tolliver’s explanation to Mary Ann about the significance of Valentine’s Day Resolutions:

"These are the - you know - the hardcore, maybe-this-time, kiss-today-goodbye, some-enchanted-evening resolutions." ~Tales of the City

I think, in order to make a resolution of this nature, one should re-evaluate the resolutions from the previous year and assess. My first resolution last year was to find new ways to encounter bad dates, and I’m happy to say that 2005 saw an unprecedented number of really bad dates. I cannot really recall all the ways in which I came upon all said dates, but trust me, they were bad.

Secondly, I resolved not to lament over the ones that got away; and I have no shoe regrets from the preceding year. Yes, there were those fabulous pair of Coach shoes that I did not purchase, and the Chinese Laundry shoes I let Jumana talk me out of, but I do not regret that I did not get them, as I moved on to other shoes—specifically, a very charming pair of BCBG stilettos.

Since poor planning saw me again this February not attending Fashion Week, I in fact did go shopping and had a wonderful time buying lingerie and shoes and trying on various dresses.

I also resolved to set a budget and buy more accessories… well, I did buy more accessories, though I find, some days, sadly, I do not yet have a complete closet with which to work to any significant satisfaction.

Finally, I resolved to take better care of myself—napping and stretching where needed. I doubt I get the naps in that I would normally enjoy, but all in all, I’ve found a way to make it work.

As such, with great consideration, I propose to resolve the following:

1. I will learn how to rollerblade backwards. This may seem trivial, but since I’ve gotten a handle on the going forward part, going backward seems a reasonable next step. One might argue that learning to stop would be a better goal to tackle, but really, eventually stopping happens—going backwards does not.

2. I will continue to search out accessories that suit me in order to more sufficiently compliment my closet.

3. I will accept, and perhaps appreciate, that I will never have all the shoes or accessories that I could want. For if I had all I wanted, there would be no more need to shop for said items—and that would make me sad. We do not want a sad Nikki.

4. I will be brave; I will try a porter that is not a chocolate or coffee. After all, I should learn to branch out more.

5. I will find the perfect round brush. I never realized how very important this hair product would be until I had to actually learn to straighten my hair. It is a necessity right up there with a toothbrush, mascara and lip balm.

And that, my friends, takes care of the fiscal year for 2006. Mahalo.

Can we play?

"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night. " Bill Watterson from Calvin and Hobbes

Came across this quote today and really liked the sentiment. I say this, because lately, my dreams have left me feeling a bit on the lonely side--missing the people about whom I have dreamt when I wake up. There is nothing like Calvin and Hobbes to put into perspective so many things. It was a nice reminder--and thought I would pass it along.

Sweet dreams.

Sweet Betsey

Just caught the highlights from the Betsey Johnson show... I absolutely love Betsey Johnson!! She could throw a poncho on a doormat and make it look sexy. I was admiring her recent line for Victoria's Secret just this last weekend. She has made her way by following her own rules and she is definately one helluva chick... Her Website is HERE.

A little Necco-ing

When did Sweethearts Conversation Hearts become so depressing? I remember, when I was younger, they were funny, quirky and cute... now, they serve only to remind that we are single and all the cute hopefulness has faded; "fax me" no longer seems like a quaint romantic notion, rahter it is laden with the concepts of work. Then, there is the "UR Cute" which you cannot say to a guy in the bar anymore without them taking offense and thinking that you are on the last hour of your biological clock.

Others in my little box of confection include:

Be Good.
Call Me.
Kiss Me.
Only You.
I Do.
Miss You.
My Man.
I Love You.

And, from the Necco website, a little sickening sweet trivia:

NECCO® manufactures eight billion Sweethearts® Conversation Hearts each year, the majority of which are sold during the six-week period between January 1 and Valentine’s Day; making Sweethearts the #1 selling non-chocolate Valentine’s Day candy.

Fashions Fashionables

So, the fashion is getting better out of Bryant Park this week... Carolina Herrera's show was, from what I was able to glean, outstanding. There is this turquoise/brown dress to die for... everything was very feminine and 50s inspired. *Sigh*

Speaking of great fashion and designers, Tom Ford will be appearing on the Vanity Fair cover coming out tomorrow with a nekkid Keira Knightly and Scarlett Johansson... Ford is the art director and stepped into the project, it seems, when Rachel McAdams backed out. Other nekkid celebs will be found on the insides, including Angelia Jolie. Don't get too excited, they aren't nekkid-nekkid; they are more artfully nekkid, meaning buttocks are about all you are gonna get.

And, just when you thought the rap world was getting a little too pop for your tastes... someone is gunned down. Busta's bodyguard was killed this week outside a video shot. Seems the Brooklyn P.D. is investigating a little riff between Busta and Fiddy... Awww, you mean these boys aren't playin' nice?

Speaking of not playin' nice, Mick Jagger was first quoted as saying he didn't care that they turned down his microphone during "sexually suggestive" lyrics at their half-time appearance; that was yesterday though, and today Mick via "spokesperson" is calling it ridiculous and unnecessary. Well, yeah, I mean, the songs they had "microphone function" applied were Rough Justice and Start Me Up... they also did Satisfaction, which did not recieve the microphone action... Here's the thing with this, folks, the Rolling Stones can be singing about making cookies and it is sexually suggestive... they are sex--pure and simple. I mean, what on earth do we think Satisfaction is all about???? Now, Mick and the boys may not look like sex, hell, they are scary as all hell--but they still gotta certain sumthing that makes ya go... hmmmmmm..... And that, babe, cannot be turned down by a censor.

Mahalo.

As promised, a glimpse into Friday...

As promised, a recap on Project: Bottle Blonde… So, Friday, I left work and went to lunch… it was a fine lunch marred only by the guy with the 3 year old who kept trying to use his kid to get my attention. There was a lot of testosterone flowing in the pizza place where I decided to lunch; construction workers, college students, guys in suits—it was a veritable buffet of men of all ages, races and shoes sizes for anyone interested. Oddly, I was not. I appreciated the attention I received, but could really have cared less.

Since lunch did not last as long as I had hoped (there was also an unusually high number of children in the place running around), I decided to do a little shopping. I have been searching for a sweatshirt that is not hideous and it not a million sizes too big for me—this, it seems, has been a far larger task than I had originally thought. But, I like a challenge… I also like repeatedly making the same mistakes over and over again as I stopped by Steve & Berry’s to peruse the selection of Michigan sweatshirts… And they have a lot, but I don’t want one with a hood on it. So, I opted for their long sleeve tees. I found a very nice white one with pink lettering in the men’s section. Perhaps I am the only one, but doesn’t it seem odd that the Steve & Berry’s men’s section does not carry the size “small?” So, I bought a medium. The women’s section is really pathetic there, I have to say and I did check out the children’s sweatshirts as well… and there were a couple nice ones, but I didn’t want to try on, and for that, I would have had to. Suffice to say, that while I love the tee, it is long enough to be a mini-dress.

After checking out a few other stores, I stopped off at Starbucks of a highly pretentious latte before making my way to Borders. I didn’t so much shop at Borders as I found a place to sit and admired the shelves of fiction around me while drinking my latte. I did, however, become quite enamored with a book called “The Reasons I Won’t Be Coming” by Eliot Perlman. He writes short stories and this book is a collection of shorts. I was taken by the title and read the story after which the title was taken. It was okay, I suspect the rest of the book is better. The title, I think actually reminds me of one of my friendships; it is an interesting dynamic and though it was close, I may have bought the book had the story mirrored more my own thoughts on the title.

Thankfully, my hair appointment prevented a sick and twisted urge to walk through the self-help section. The self-help section always horrifies and amuses me, then depresses me and I was trying to avoid all that.

Then, I had an experience like no other. The girl assigned to cut my hair also had curly hair. Now, if you do not have curly hair, you will not understand the significance of this—so I will explain. People, and specifically hairdressers, who do not have curly hair, cannot begin to advise you on the tricks and products that will work on your hair—they’ve never had to use them. Now, the good people who have cut my hair and styled it in the past have done a great job, and pointed me in the direction their educations have told them they should point me in. If you want to straighten your hair, these people can help you, but if you want to wear it curly—and trust me, it is easier to do that than to straighten—they just don’t get it. So, when I had someone who knew how curly went, it made a world of difference. No curl enhancers, no weak gels, no shine boost—lots of strong gel, texturizer and styling spray. Diffuse and—Voila! It was fabulous. Of course, when I tried it myself the next day, I did something very wrong (think Gilda Radner on SNL), but that is another story for another time.

I should interject here and explain something about the significance of selecting the date that I did—yes, it was the launch of Fashion Week, and yes, it was wholly needed for mental sanity, but it was also the anniversary of the death of a friend of mine—or at least as close as I can approximate the date given the lack of information I have. Rich died six years ago, of what, I still do not know and am coming to terms with that I may never know. Each year on the 3rd, I find a bar I think he would appreciate and have a Tanqueray and tonic—it was his drink. I also try to do something that is entirely for me and about me, because it is as he would have wanted it. Rich believed whole-heartedly in hedonism and in taking time for yourself—and he helped me to understand the importance of that.

So, following the hair appointment, I decided that I would go to Ashley’s for the Tanqueray and tonic. I go to Ashley’s quite a bit and thought it was the place to go this year. I ordered the cocktail and took out my little note book and wrote a few notes about Rich and then put the pen away to enjoy the drink and think about what next in the afternoon… What next, indeed!

Sitting at the bar, I met a guy in his 60s, who was very funny and seemed to know everyone in the bar. I hadn’t remembered ever seeing him there before, but he usually wasn’t at the bar—he had his own table in the back. He began to tell me all about everyone there—who they were, what they did, what they studied. He also told me quite a bit about himself. It was very interesting. He then introed me to three other men who came in and were sitting at the bar. Once I had seen on several occasions and he always waved to me when I was in there, though I’d never met him before. Then, there were the other two… one of which I flirted shamelessly with, because hey, sometimes, you just have to and it’s fun.

In looking back on the scene, it was exactly as it should have been.

A gin and tonic and three beers later, I headed out for some dinner and sobriety. I enjoyed more pizza before heading over to Amer’s for a cinnamon scone dessert. After which, I got into my car and heading over to Briarwood. Shopping is always a good way to end a day—especially when you leave the mall with six pair of very cute and sexy underwear and the earrings that you had been wanting. I also found a terrific dress at Marshall Fields, but had that moment in the dressing room where you try it on and think—can I wear a dress this short?? And since it is on clearance, and you know the answer, but don’t want to admit it, you think to yourself: Well, if I only stand in it and don’t sit, it could work. And then, it hits you… and you put the very nice dress back on the hanger and leave it with the fitting room attendant and go home.

And the weekend proceeds on as scheduled.

Mahalo.

Blonde Energy: And the results are in...

This was the post from Saturday, Feb. 4 that seems to somehow been deleted, so I'm reposting the link to it here. Hmmm...

Blonde Energy: And the results are in...

Project: Bottle Blonde... In Progress

Today is finally here… launch of Project Bottle Blonde. Launch of Fashion Week. To that extent, I’m completely adorable… now, not to be confused with every other day that I am completely adorable, but today is just—special. I don’t know why, exactly. Sometimes you just have a sense of it.

So, at 11:30, I will depart from work, leaving behind all the quality concerns, the testing issues and HIPAA regulations that have been dancing on my schedule all week and take myself to lunch. I have lunch nearly everyday, but today, I’m having it with me. What I mean by this is that I have allowed myself the luxury of being all consumed in my own thoughts and feelings and not the extraneous things that float in and out. It’s kind of like mediating, which I haven’t done in about a week—and am in dire need.

Following lunch will be a much needed and much anticipated hair appointment. Nothing spectacularly different—just catharsis. And then, there is the shopping. Nothing in particular…

…and that is really what Project Bottle Blonde is all about. Nothing in particular, nothing spectacularly different, just a cathartic reconnecting with oneself. Remembering all those things that make us great—and applying it, like you do with bleach to the hair… carefully, with thought and precision and just every so often when the roots are a little to dark to see in the mirror.
Je m’aime…

O'messiah

Well, my mistake, Frey was not on Oprah today, according to her website. Not sure what the article I read yesterday meant when it said he would be on again today... oh well. He's only lost his literary agent and his publisher is reconsidering his contract.

Dazed and Confused

Britney is such a good actress, she got herself a slot on Will and Grace... Heh, I actually thought that show was done--but I thought the same of Brit, too.

Well, I feel somewhat vindicated and I guess my calls for Oprah to lighten up and accusations that she has ruined someone must have gotten through to her--either that, or she wants her bitchiness to match her empire's fortune. Seems the Queen of Media will have James Frey back on her show tomorrow. You might ask, rightfully so, why on earth he would even go back after last week--and I have to remind you that the man is an addict.

The thought occurred to me that this is a coup designed by Oprah and Frey... but that would be too, too un-Oprah like. She has a cult following she doesn't dare ruin. But they will clamour for her to grant her wand of forgivenness upon Frey and let this mess wash away.

Which brings me to Oprah's messiah appeal... in discussing with a friend today, she was alarmed by the Oprah-Frey ordeal, but is also a big Oprah fan and was trying to determine how to reconcil the two issues. We all have people we look up to in the media. For me, Hunter Thompson and Bob Dylan are two. I have never agreed with everything they have written or done, but it doesn't change the fact that I have a great admiration and respect for each of them--in part, because I don't always agree with them. I find it hard to respect someone that I don't disagree with on some level. It is through disagreement and conflict that we not only learn who we are, but who others are as well. I'm not talking screaming arguments--you don't even have to argue at all; sometimes, silence is the most effective rhetorical tool one can use. Ahhh... if only more people did...