Blonde Energy... Writes Again.

Strap on the big girl boots and get busy!

Friday, June 30, 2006

A haphazard course of thought

A thought for the night...
If you had a giraffe
and he stretched another half
you would have a giraffe and a half.

It is the start to Shel Silverstein's book, A Giraffe and a Half. I was thinking about Silverstein tonight; not sure why suddenly. Perhaps it is because I had the pleasure of reading part of A Light in the Attic to Baby Z over the weekend. It was a pleasurable experience, and I think she liked the poetry better than when I started to read her the disaster recovery plan I needed to read for work. Hell, I liked the poetry a lot better!

Might be time for me to dig out my copy of Where the Sidewalk Ends...

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Britney pulls a Demi

Just after citing the media as the source of her ire, Britney takes it all off for Harper's Bazaar. Preggers and nekkid on the cover, Britney bares all, in a fashion not unlike Demi Moore did... ahh, Brit, will you ever do anything original? Well, if nothing else, this should keep the photogs off your back...

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Dylan on Modern Times

Bob Dylan is all set to release his next album in August... ahhh, the wait--the end of August no less. Hmm, I really hope this doesn't affect the release of the eagerly anticipanted K-Fed disc also set to drop in late summer... that would be a shame. Though, honestly, I doubt the two people who are going to drop $15 on K-Fed would be truly interested in Dylan's album.

Rolling Stone reports that on preview of the album, it is quite good. I know, I am looking forward to it.

Brasil v. Ghana?

Oh yeah baby... all I can say is I didn't wear a Ghana shirt today. They made a good effort for a first year football team, but Brasil all the way.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Rest and the Left

It was a stressful week last week, to say the least. I spent the weekend in Chicago, got to spend time with friends and overall had a wonderfully brilliant weekend. Now, it is back to a stressful week... but I'm very much looking forward to the holiday weekend and some much needed, scheduled time off. And, after this week, I may very well need it!

And, of important note, the cats are not liking my being gone a lot--not liking it at all! Trac checked in on them this weekend and said even Vinnie allowed her to pet him... now, I'm certain Vinnie would deny this, but they clearly are feeling at a loss for attention.

The holiday weekend should prove to give me time to destress completely and get the place cleaned up, get groceries properly bought and stocked (I have not done this in almost 2 months, maybe???), hang by the pool, spend some time with friends and in general, bum around at my own desired level of lethargy. It's a delicate balance to not get sucked further into the depression trap, since I think I'm working my way out of what has been a rough few weeks... but we shall see what happens.

I also intend to anxiously await the results of the July 2 Mexican election. The Zapatistas, who previously had planned to go home from their tour and be absent from the elections are now planning to be very visible. They are a creative bunch, so I am eager to see what Subcomandante Marcos offers up so as not to get himself and his followers killed for "impeding" the election. Not that the results of the election will really garner much change for Mexico... even if Obrador wins, he is weak as a leftist and will prove to be just as corrupt as Calderon would be if he won or as much as Fox is currently. Of course, while I wax on about the hopelessness of the Mexican elections next week, it isn't to say that the US is in a better situation for our elections next year. We need a revolution... I think it is time to make contact with Subcomandante Marcos; if THAT doesn't get my FBI file over 1 page, nothing short of my aligning myself with Chavez will...

The end of bad television?

At a young age of 83, Aaron Spelling has died. Comes as a shock, I'm sure, since many had probably already assumed he had passed some time ago, as I did... Just time for a brief reflection of all the crap television we all loved to hate and no one admited to watching... 90210? Melrose Place? The Love Boat? Fantasy Island? TJ Hooker?

Of course, one cannot forget that he was also the purveyor of Charlies Angels--I'm not saying this was good tv, but damn, I did want to be Sabrina...

Sunday, June 25, 2006

The return

I have returned, exhausted and not ready for my Monday, from Chicago. It was a good weekend and I managed to not prove to be the harms way for Baby Z (who turned 7 months old today).

More later... I need to sleep now.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Tires and Ellipticals

Today, as I was going over to the clubhouse where my apartment's gym facilities are located, I passed by this car that had been sitting for a few days. It was clear that it had gotten a flat tire and the spare was put on. The car was jacked up as I approached, and I saw a man sitting there, working on changing the tire. The thought immediately occurred to me that damn, that really sucks, the poor guy. And then, I stopped myself... I was feeling sorry for the guy, but really, on reassessment, I had to admire him. There is no way I would be able to change my own tire. What shocked me, though, was when I left the clubhouse 45 minutes later, the guy was still working on the tire. Then the thought occurred to me, perhaps, he enjoyed working on the tire. Afterall, some of us escape the things in our lives we don't want to deal with by spending 40 minutes on an elliptical machine, others might change a tire.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Well, in my opinion...

Mexico looks to be leaning a little to the left these days; which has Washington in full-force rhetoric about how they are willing to work with Obrador, should he be elected. It proves to be interesting as regardless of how well Obrador is interested in play with the US--he will not be another Fox who allows the US to run over him. No one thinks he will align himself with Chavez--but, oh, wouldn't it be a facsinating turn of events if he did? Ahh, a girl with leftist leanings can hope.

Speaking of Mexico and their election, it seems our upcoming elections have halted the immigration reform that, while not nearly perfect, was a damn good start and offered up citizenship chances for millions of illegal immigrants. Instead, the brilliant morons think a fence is the first and foremost line of immigration reform. Fucking idiots. I rarely agree with Dubya on much, but offering a path to citizenship is one thing I happen to think a good idea.

**Note to those of you sending me the petition to stop the immigration reform; let me remind you of a few things...

1) Unless you are straight up Native American, shut the fuck up and see #2.
2) Even if you are part Native, as I am, remember this is the same government fucking you over and continue fighting to keep your own rights while remembering taking those away from others is the same thing happening to you.
3) Remember that these illegal immigrants are here, working hard for their future, and paying taxes--they deserve the same benefit for paying taxes as anyone else.

I could go on, but really, I'm not changing anyone's narrow thoughts tonight. Just don't send me the petition or the ramblings of bigotry on this topic, or you may not like the response you get from me.

So, moving onto other topics... I've been wondering just how long it would take for the NSA to start listening in on my cell convos... all this talk of taking over and annexing Puerto Rico but today, today I think it finally happened... after SK and I began discussing moving to Iraq. Yes, getting a job as a crane operators and moving to the Middle East. It really is a fine plan. I hear it is BEEAUTIFUL there this time of year; the tan, the army boys, and I hear there is nothing better than getting some middle eastern food right there in the middle east. I wonder if the La Shish there has the same menu??? Hmmmm....

That's all folks...

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Have you ever really?

Midget Bad Craziness.

If you have never experienced this, well, have you ever really lived?

Explanation, though while certainly not required, will probably help make sense of this to some people.

Ralph Steadman, a Welsh artist for whom I have previously in this blog stated my unabashed admiration (and not coincidently got part of one of his artworks tattooed on my personage), did a silkscreen called Midget Bad Craziness. It is part of his Gonzo Art series.

So, yesterday, while sitting in the Diag in downtown Ann Arbor, I was watching with mild amusement a group of teenaged kids wearing some combination of punk attire while shouting random things at each other, looking to shock perhaps their friends, passer-byers or me…
**Don’t you masturbate on my tree.**
**I’m gonna write you are here on my jeans. (note: this was the crotch of her jeans)**
**Will someone draw a banana on the inside of my jeans? The insinuation is hysterical. (surprisingly, not the same girl as the statement above)**

Clearly, these are not statements I find shocking or even remotely interesting to note except that it suddenly dawned on me that it was Midget Bad Craziness. And, it stuck with me.

The thing with Gonzo is that you live it and hopefully, through it. It is about an experience, that if you’ve never happened upon it, it is terribly difficult to explain. The series of events of the rest of the afternoon only contributed to the spectacular… the very sexy, aloof photographer, the rejuvenation via wasabi, the six foot plus transvestite who kept appearing out of nowhere, the smarmy guy who smelled rather odd and sat next to me, the sudden chill in the air… not to mention other, more ominous undertones too dangerous to allude to here.

But that was yesterday, and the feeling has subsided. Washed away, perhaps, with the grime from my dirty laundry and sucked up the vacuum with the rest of the filth from the week. I find, on days when a coconut is cracked open, its water swiftly drunk down (exposure to air starts to diminish its virility) and its flesh baked and eaten, all that is bad with the world and all the weirdnesses fall away. Coconuts have that way about them.

And now, it’s just me. The cats. And Bob Dylan singing about Knockin on Heaven’s Door… it’s all about the moment. And, in this moment… I leave you with this thought:

The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over. ~Hunter S. Thompson


Mahalo.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Immobility

For the last few days, I have been unable to really move my head in any pain-free kind of motion. Today, it seems, will be more of the same. It was better this morning after sleeping in and letting the massaging shower head work some magic, but since swallowing hurts and aggigtates it, and I was hungry and thirsty, my chicken pita and glass of water seems to have me back to that immobile phase. I keep foolishly thinking that the Tylenol will kick in, but seeing has how I've taken Vicodin the last 2 nights and it hasn't made a dent, I doubt very much that my false hope in the Tylenol will yield any benefit. Kind of like I thought the Aspercreme would work last night.

My foolish optimism will not die and I'm going to go try a few strecthes to see if I can't help it along a little...

Have a nice day.

Lame media coverage

He's single again, ladies, and now he's a spry 64... that's right, happy birthday to Sir Paul McCartney.

I'm not entirely clear, having not really read any of the articles associated with the headlines, but I am having a difficult time in figuring out why the 64th birthday is being covered. Perhaps just as a means of reminding the world that he is getting divorced? I don't really care. It is a small distraction to the media vortex that is Ms. Spears. She really is a good mom folks, she's just an emotional wreck and if the press would only leave her alone (she says to the press in an interview)... sad.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Random Meanderings

I only went for a three hour walk after work today... glad I decided to give my body a rest... LOL...

I came home tonight to quite the mess of random cat toys (and even those with wands) stuffed in my shoes. Clearly, this is the work of the FSM (Flying Spaghetti Monster). Cats and the FSM have a rather symbiotic relationship; and tonight, my cats were quite evidently disgusted with the antics of the FSM. In fact, Jakey got a very cross look on his face at the mere mention of the FSM. It's the same look he gets on his face, come to think of it, when Bowie enters his vicinity. It's a tough deal for cats, really.

In other topics non-Pasta related; I had an interesting conversation the other day with an aquaintance about my work ethic and that given my adaptability and knowledge base, I would go far. It's interesting to me because I've always heard this and yet, always find that what is most important to me is to focus on what I'm doing and making sure I do it well. Perhaps that is part of what she meant... I didn't delve in deeper. I just found it ironic that I can have that impression to people professionally, but my personal life is like playing pickup sticks.

Time to call it another night and make my way in off the patio and in to where it is warmer and there are blankets and pillows and such comforts. I found my cloud last night and am looking forward to regaining it tonight.

Mahalo.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Exhaustion

Tired and ready for bed. It occurred to me tonight while getting leg cramps while doing pilates, that I may (just maybe) may need to give my body some real rest. I was thinking I was invincible--could handle any workout I was throwing at myself. Clearly, I was wrong. If nothing else, I wanted to sleep without pharmeceuticals... I will have my wish tonight as it is hard just to stay awake right now. As with everything else, I'm going to push it for another 15 minutes; I don't want any false sleep alarm where I crawl into bed and then can't sleep. Tonight, I want to be out--no weird dreams induced by sleeping pills, no tossing and turning and fighting time, just pure, divine sleep. If you have never had long-term insomnia, you cannot truly appreciate the kind of sleep that is like crawling onto a cloud; the kind where your mind slows down long enough for your body to catch up; the kind even the cats appreciate and leave you alone to enjoy. That is the sleep I'm hoping for tonight, if I just hold out a little longer...

Monday, June 12, 2006

From the Weekend Notes

Sunday I woke up sore... not really from the previous night of drinking and dancing so much as from the night of drinking and falling on my ass a few times. I guess it would be more accurate, really, to say I woke up bruised. One fall in my apartment and one off the stage at the Millenium... I need a crash helmet--in more ways than one.

Then, a themed display of books (which is too pathetic to share the theme here) at Target caused me to break down in tears while buying toliet paper... so I took my pathetic and bruised ass over to Gallup Park for a few miles on the trail. Normally, walking/exercise clears my thoughts and gets me put together. Not the case yesterday. I wonder if my therapy is failing me? Heh, if it does, at least I'll be in really good shape when I have my breakdown... I'm just kidding, really. The thing about feeling bad like this is you know there isn't much that is going to make it worse and you can crawl out of it--eventually.

There is a week of a lot of work ahead of me both professionally and personally. The weekend, well, I think by the weekend, I may go look at apartments. If that fails, there is a fantastic 8 mile hike at the Metro Park near Novi...

Stupid movies and eagerly anticipated pirates

Yeah, I'm catching up on ridiculing celluloid... it's been a while and I'm feeling like I need to mention that fact Adam Sandler has another ridiculous movie he's out touting does not mean that everyone needs to go see it. Guys, you saw the best part in the trailer (you know what I'm talking about...big busted woman running in slow motion). We needed another Adam Sandler comedy as much as we need another Fast and the Furious movie... OH WAIT, we are getting another Fast and the Furious. Clue... the best thing about the first movie was Vin Diesel in a dirty, white, cheap Hanes shirt.

Now, what I am looking forward to, is, of course, Pirates of the Carribean II. Now, if there was ever a sequel needing to be made, it was this movie. It has all the components necessary to entertain me for a few hours... Johnny Depp, witty one liners, pirates, Johnny Depp... I know, I said Johnny twice, but I think it was deserved.

Ye be wise to not argue, mate.

Baby, baby, baby

In the midst of all the Brandelina spawning, it went nearly silent that Gwen Stefani had a baby, and Matt Damon and his wife also added to the population... did anyone even know Matt Damon was married let alone that his wife was pregnant? Highly unlikely when you consider the story was topped by the AP covering an Esquire poll. I guess being the better actor doesn't mean you get the better press... or maybe, just maybe, you actually try to maintain your privacy instead of putting on a bad act?

Taking Reality Too Far

In an attempt to take reality tv a step too far--and just when you thought that mightbe damn near impossible--they are taking 10 homeless cats and putting them in a storefront in NYC for 10 days and capturing them on camera for a new show.

Damn, if I'd known a few cats made for good TV, I'd let someone come in with a camera and video my boys sleeping 20 hours a day... I mean, WTF?? Of course, with a camera on my kitties, we might find out the real culprit behind the papazan chair being flipped once a week...

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Sleepless on a Saturday

Sleepless morning and the cats are looking at me peculiarly; wondering why it is we are up at all before 6 a.m. on a Saturday—and I, too, have to wonder slightly. Bowie seems especially worried since the last time I was up early on Saturday, I left for the weekend. Apparently, his strategy is to hold me down to the chair by lying on me. The others are lying about, probably thinking they should be outside, though Calvin looks put out at sharing the cat condo bed and Jake is annoyingly reminding me of his love for perching on home electronics.

I woke up thinking about a book I have, which I had lent out and recently got back. I’ve re-read over half of it and it was truly beginning to upset me. I’m a different person than I was when I bought it and normally, for the sake of some good information, I can look past the garbage. I bought 24 Hour Turnaround two years ago when it was suggested to me as a nice way to remind myself of my goals and ways to achieve them. Admittedly, I skimmed it a few times and liked some of the info, but I haven’t really delved much into it since… but felt the need for positive motivation. Instead, I couldn’t look past the garbage. I understand what Jay Williams is trying to do for her readers in this book, but I guess I’m not the demographic she had in mind.

**I know spirituality is important; I don’t want and don’t need someone to tell me that my spirituality is linked to my health. There are several reasons for this, but mostly because not being Christian in a predominantly Christian country, there are days I feel like I’m having a bible shoved down my throat and though the intent of Ms. Williams is good, it is overkill for someone like me.

**If you are writing a book that is going to suggest to me that I need to make changes to my life and are going to use science as your foundation for my making these changes, do not just say: studies have shown…. More and more researchers are discovering…. Or anything along those lines without backing it up somewhere. I want to know who did the studies, what the controls were, what the sample size was, when it was done, has it been repeated? Otherwise, I will be and am completely skeptical.

**Do not rely on scare tactics to get people on your bandwagon. It’s the most common sales tactic and I’m sick of it.

Now, it isn’t to say that there isn’t good information in Williams’ book. There is; if you decide to check it out, determine for yourself what is valuable and relevant. If you are on board with her 100 percent… more power to you. She looks fabulous and while not everyone who follows the program will look like she did at 50… you will certainly be in better health. But just remember, no matter what you read, better health doesn’t come from a book or a website, it comes from your desire for it and willingness to work at it every day. I don’t have a study to back that, either, by the way… but I do have experience.

Other thoughts on this fine Saturday morning when I should be in bed… yesterday’s last post. Breathlessness. I haven’t written actual poetry in a very long time. And it didn’t start out that way; I did not sit down Thursday night (when this began) and say…. Hmmm, I feel like shit, I should write a poem. Instead, I sat down and started writing all the things that had been on my mind. After reading it and re-reading it, I saw it take form. I amazed me, slightly, that I had forgotten how challenging it is to write verse. I use the same principles in poetry as I do in fiction (and even non-fiction) only a little more stringently. I once had an instructor who felt that poetry was something meant to be spoken…we all have opinions on that, but her philosophy helped me to hear the language and feel the musical quality words have. They are like a musicians notes and you can be traditional or you can step outside convention—either way it is pretty amazing; and just a moment I was having this morning.

Mahalo.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Breathlessness.

Something I haven't done in a while... but...


Breathlessness.

Surrendering the post.
Too late to take it back;
too long coming.
A note of few words;
there were only ever few words.
Too little said, too much misinterpreted.
Friendship halted;
contemptuous decision,
mine to own.
Respected;
his right toward silence, but no
he smiled, he said hello.
I fought back tears;
the metallic starry taste.
We had talked about fatalism;
but I wondered what lie ahead.
Uncertainty clouded with conviction;
crushed and defeated and wondering,
why I wasn’t stronger?
I failed; failed me, failed him,
I failed our friendship.
I sat at that table, his table, and wrote it then…
knew with him in the shower;
knew in a hangover haze.
I let it sit,
a month,
two months?
He knew too, perhaps, maybe?

Loving him set me free;
exposed pieces long ago hidden
raw turned tempered
fear into nothingness
memories fresh and long ago
sunshine, Oberon and cigarettes
there were no summers before we met
and now, breathless, spinning
sunbeams cover my skin
sparkling bronze.
The darkness faded,
shadows remain masked
for yet another time.

Media & Delusion

So, I clicked on a link to an AP story regarding al-Zarqawi, who, as everyone knows was the al-Qaida leader in Iraq that we have had more stories about in the last two days covering the headlines. Of course, before he died, no one knew who the hell he was and I'm pretty sure most people assumed that binLaden was the al Qaida leader in Iraq. But, regardless of the terrible spin our liberal media might be trying to weave... the following article lead caught me:
Abu Musab al-Zarqawi could barely speak, but he struggled and tried to get away from American soldiers as he lay dying on a stretcher in the ruins of his hideout.

IN OTHER WORDS, our military, who first reported he was DOA are now saying he wasn't, but that he died very quickly after being discovered... yeah, it's amazing that a bullet to the head will accomplish that.

Could this liberal media try to romanticize any more than they do what is being told to them to do?

By the way, I only use the term liberal media to prepare you for the upcoming election campaigning; because though it is anything but a liberal media, we are bound to start hearing that again as approval ratings fall and politicians start fumbling over themselves.

I mean, it really could be a liberal media since they paid anywhere from 3-5 million dollars for a picture of the Brangelina spawn... did you think I could go this week without mentioning that? People already have given lil'Spawn its cover. Brangelina wanted their privacy, but apparently, for the right price, can give up their childs... but I mean, it is for charity and all. You can't see my eyes rolling right now, but they are. Trust me.

It must have been a terible editorial decision this week as to which story was going to get top billing... al-Zarqawi or Brangelina. Indeed, the NYTimes.com had to split its front page at times... And yet, the rest of the world apparently cares very little about either story long term.

Well, I know it is early, and I know Bragenlina's spawn was born on foreign soil, but could she be a contender in 2008?? I wonder how much that exclusive would fetch?

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Classics

Today, I was reminded that it has been ages since I've revisited some of the classics I so loved... SK sent me an IM today that quoted Masters "Spoon River Anthology" from Fiddler Jones:
And if the people find you can fiddle,
Why, fiddle you must, for all your life.
...
I ended up with a broken fiddle --
And a broken laugh, and a thousand memories,
And not a single regret.

These were the lines she sent me; which were rather appropriate for how I started my day and was feeling generally.

I started thinking today that perhaps I should delve into a few classics... perhaps *gasp* not live via my pedometer for a few days and trade in 3000 steps for a couple hundred pages? A scary proposition, indeed. But, I'm on my way to try out the jump rope for the first time, so if I break something (namely me) getting a few classics in might be the only thing I can do... we shall see.

Mahalo.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Freedom and challenges

I've had a particular bar of Kris Kristofferson's "Me and Bobby McGee" stuck in my head today--fact for those thinking right about now that it was a Janis Joplin song--Kristofferson wrote it...
Freedoms just another word for nothin left to lose,
And nothin aint worth nothin but its free

The irony is that as I checked out the Owl Farm Blog tonight, it was echoed even more in Anita Thompson's last two posts. She reminds us that her husband, Hunter, felt you have to take the wolf by the ears when dealing with the law. Which, I hadn't forgotten, but it still (even if slightly askew) fit my mindframe, but even moreso was her previous post that was Hunter's final definition of gonzo journalism which is not accepting the word of authorities as truth. These two sentiments are very connected especially when we read how the US is murdering civilians, and removing from its protocols pieces of human rights with regard to the treatment of prisoners.

I just wonder how much people will take before they realize the freedom we have isn't in what the authorities say, it is what we have left--it is our stake, our interest, our passions, our angers... it is not our apathies. How long before people start to realize, we don't have anything left to lose and we start making those little acts of bravery I wrote about the other day?

Ahh, but freedom is painful, and risky... when you take the wolf by the ears, you might get bitten. And that is part of freedom--when you are willing to stake the pain and the hurt of the unknown for the known--when that no longer matters because it overrides the pain and achiness of what currently exists. When it has to be done, unabashedly because your very survival demands it.

It's a thoughtful balance--how to trade one pain for another.

It doesn't matter too much if they are personal acts of freedom--sometimes those are the most difficult... be brave. Starting small is talking about and plotting the liberation of Puerto Rico--going big is asking the guy in the park jogging for his number... guess which one I mastered today? I wonder, if when I rule Puerto Rico, if asking for a guys number would be as scary?

My act of liberation for today: I stopped my unscheduled pilates workout because the reason for continuing wasn't healthy. The reason is another issue; and not up for discussion here.

Now, I'd like to know: what is one act of bravery and/or liberation you did today?

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Sunday

It is the first Sunday in June, and it is a beautiful evening. I went to visit the parents this weekend--short trip, but I'm tired and even though I need to go buy some groceries, it can wait. Today also began the walking "program" (or, as I refer to it, the competition) for work. We were issued pedometers and set our goal last week. Considering my over 4 hours in a car today, I haven't done too bad. It's doubtful I will reach my daily goal of 10500 today, but I promise, I will make up for it during the week.

Not much else to say... I'm even too tired to comment on the machine in the Speedway restroom at the Grand Blanc exit that was selling "Evening Magic" condoms--You will have to draw your own irony and sarcasm from that tidbit tonight.

Mahalo.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Little Acts of Bravery

Every day we get up and start making choices... for good or bad, it is the entire course of the day--one choice after another. I got to thinking about that this morning as the little black spider that has been haunting my bathroom stood between me and my sink.

A little detour, if I may (and I may, as it is my blog): I am, first and foremost, a bathroom whore--it is by far the most complete room in my home. I have my drawers and countertop to a science, refined by years of experimentation and product knowledge. I spend more time in the bathroom most mornings than any other room in my home. Secondly, I am TERRIFIED of spiders. I once did not shower for 3 days in college because my roommates were gone and the large spider in the shower was too much for me to handle. I ended up waiting for my boyfriend at the time to get back into town--he was not happy about having to come over to kill a spider.

Ok, back to the choices. This morning, I made the decision to take control of the situation and not let the spider win. Now, it took nearly a quarter of a roll of toliet paper and a little squeamishness on my part, but I prevailed. Perhaps it was that little act of bravery that inspired a few others during the day--mailing off a letter I'd been contemplating for weeks; telling the woman at the dress shop I didn't care what she thought, I was ordering the smaller size.

It's amazing, though, that even though the choices are ours to make--we own them--we just can't do them without the strength of our friends. I think it is that strength that, in the end, really, is how we are finally able to manage and muster strength of our own.

So... to a few of my strengths, who in part, inspired my little acts of bravery today...

...thank you Leah, if you hadn't taken my drunk ass to WalMart over the weekend and I hadn't bought toliet paper, I would not have properly equipped to take out a spider.

...thank you SK for the stamp, listening, and offering to mail the package yourself--and understanding that I needed to do it myself.

...thank you Mal for the IMs all day just to occassionally remind me I could do it.

...thank you Mary for the email offering to kick anyone's ass you could.

...thank you Jumana for the emails and phone calls and being a constant reminder that I do know how to be a strong person.

Sometimes, Wonder Woman's best super power accessories are her friends.

Mahalo.

Starry, Starry Night

Yesterday, my Daily Romantic Singles Horoscope said I should make three wishes… it threw me, but I thought about it all day and before I went to bed, I decided on the following:
1. I want someone to make breakfast with.
2. I want to know the name of someone’s favorite band.
3. I want someone I can stay home and paint the living room with, should it need to be painted.

Maybe that isn’t what astrology.com had in mind, but it was what was in my mind by the time I went to bed last night. I have no idea who that someone would be, but today is another day. And, there is another horoscope awaiting.

Mahalo.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Six knives

Just got back from seeing V for Vendetta with SK at the dollar theatre--after a treacherous day of standing in various lines and suffering from road rage, it was good that all that happened prior to me seeing the film... as now, after a mere hour and half, I feel that I am fully equipped with the knowledge, and skill, necessary to wield 6 throwing knives with which to extract my own needed form of justice. If people don't see fit enough to provide me with a handgun to fire off a few warning rounds as seemingly necessary, they will clearly find knives a better alternative.

Clearly.

10 p.m. and another insanity calls--I have not yet done my dose of abs and pilates for the day. Oh yes, it will be done; I am fueled by late night caffiene, the regret of having to eat stale movie theatre nachos for dinner and dress measurements tomorrow. I'm bringing my own tape measure, I don't trust the one in the dress store.