Blonde Energy... Writes Again.

Strap on the big girl boots and get busy!

Thursday, November 30, 2006

All About the Numbers

I finally decided to ask a dietician about my caloric needs this week, and then went in for a second opinion. The verdict: I need more. The truth is that increasing my calories terrifies me. It may seem highly unreasonable and silly for me to be upset over ADDING a few hundred calories--just on a trial basis, "just to see." But I said I want to be healthy, and it is true. I'm already working on not freaking out over eating food with fat in it--and I've done well this week. I've had reduced fat cheese twice. THAT is a big step for me. I will work on the calories starting tomorrow--today was just too screwed up with not many healthy choices at the conference and well, honestly, I ate a candy bar which put me at about 1000 total for the day... like I said, tomorrow I'll start working on it more. Today just wasn't an eating kinda day. There's been too much stress lately--and my BP screening showed it today. Nothing shocking, but higher that usual for me.... of course, that would explain why I didn't get dizzy at all today. The plus side is that the conference also offered a cholestrol screening (either before or after the lunch filled with cream sauces and butter)... it was cool, and my numbers are quite, quite good even with my genetic predisposition toward cholestrol problems.

What is good?

Despite the rain and accidents on the way into Detroit, I did make it on time for my conference. It was "interesting." The idea was to show how Michigan compares in its healthcare quality measures against the rest of the nation and discuss how measuring quality will and if it can improve health care. In a somewhat happy coincidence for me today, David posted up a link to an interview with Robert Pirsig. For those of you unfamiliar with Pirsig, he wrote the phenomenal books, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and Lila. The first, I read in my senior year of high school, and explores the philosophical pursuit that quality cannot be defined. As someone working in the realm of quality, I find myself in agreement with Pirsig, and have been challenged my his work since I read it all those years ago. Well, I've read it several times since.... but it comes up for me... as it did today.

Assuming for a moment that quality can be measured in a conventional way that allows scientists to live in peace, the question on the mind of the audience was not about the results of these measurement, but about how prevention and patient responsibility fit into quality measures going forward. It was a concept that escaped several presenters. Perhaps, because answering it may invalidate their theory?

I would contend that we do not have to define quality to show improvements. We have to define improvements. I would also contend that in order to measure the success in prevention and patient responsibility in health care we would have to transform the very system of healthcare in this country. It is a facsinating concept.

"And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good - need we ask anyone to tell us these things?"

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Random Thought

It's Wednesday evening... I can't believe that it is Wednesday, at the end of November. In some ways, I will be happy when this year is over; in others, I have no idea where the hell it went. A lot of things have happened in the last year, it will be interesting when I finally allow myself to fully process it all. It makes me wonder why, though, when we experience happiness, it is a fleeting feeling, but sadness can linger for longer than we care to have it with us?

Tomorrow is the State of our Health Forum in Detroit... should be interesting, if not tiring as I need to leave by 6:30 a.m., which is when I'm normally dragging myself out of bed. So, with that thought, I'm off to do a little reading and beddy-bye.

Monday, November 27, 2006

NY Mayor is Disturbed?

The NYC Mayor came out that he is "disturbed" over the shooting by NYC police detectives this weekend. Disturbed? That is the problem... when over 50 shots were fired on three unarmed men leaving a club in their car, the mayor needs to be a little more than disturbed--he should be fucking pissed off. But that isn't politically correct, is it? Well, big fucking dandy doo-dah, he needs to be more than disturbed. I'm not saying that Bloomie needs to take to the streets with Al Sharpton, but he needs to be a bit stronger. NYC police, perhaps deranged by the fame of so many shows featuring NYC detectives, seem to need a reality check. I'm sure, just as in the last case of police brutality and murder, the assailing detective(s) will get off with a minor wrist slap, allowing the cycle of violence and brutality to continue. Perhaps, next time, they will not be so careless as to leave a live eyewitness to contradict their wholly impossible story.

It's sickening.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Movies, Part 2

If this weekend has taught me nothing else (and I’d argue that it hasn’t), it is that 4.5 movies in 3 days is FAR too much without an immense, incapacitating hangover. That said, here are the reviews from the remaining 2.5.

Thanksgiving Weekend Movie Review #3: A Christmas Story

SK said I had to see this movie since I hadn’t yet. So she brought it over, we ate a peanut butter cup each and watched. It reaffirmed my notion that boys are stupid… no offense to my male-specied friends, you know I adore you. It also made me jealous that I have never won a Major Award. And, I now understand why my mother will not allow me a gun—I would shoot someone’s eye out, and probably on purpose at least once (revert to the boys are stupid affirmation, LOL).

Thanksgiving Weekend Movie Review #0.5: Love, Actually

I’ve already seen this movie, but it was on USA earlier and since I absolutely love this movie, I watched about half of it… so you only get a half review. First, there are LOTS OF ACTORS in this movie. For those who do not understand the significance of a movie having “LOTS OF ACTORS” you have never watched a movie with my father. I’m not sure who the other people in the movie are, but the ones he recognizes are the Actors in the movie, and after recognizing two, he will proclaim… WOW, there are LOTS OF ACTORS in this movie. Hence, Love, Actually, has LOTS OF ACTORS. Among them, is Hugh Grant. If nothing else, this movie is worth watching just for his dance scene. Second reason is how he KICKS the ass of Billy Bob Thornton.

Thanksgiving Weekend Movie Review #4: The Libertine

This is simply a phenomenal performance by Johnny Depp. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him give a less than stellar performance (forgetting, as we all should, 21 Jump Street). But, in most regards, he carries this movie soley on his very fine shoulders (despite a forgettable performance by John Malkovich as the King). Though, I’ve read reviews that indicate you “forget” you are watching Johnny Depp… and I’ve seen him giver performances like that—Donnie Brasco, Blow, etc… but while I believe he is truly delivering the Earl of Rochester… there are moments when it is as if he is winking at the camera. But, the Earl of Rochester would have wanted it that way. I do have to admit, I nearly choked on my Crystal Light when he yelled to his servant to “Get him the monkey.” For those enraptured with Pirates of the Caribbean, the second movie found him bellaring a line very similar. I wonder if he made that connection himself between the two… though the Libertine was filmed quite some time ago.

Now, the only issue I have to take up with the Libertine is that they did not come out and say what the Earl died of. I’m not really up on my history of this story, and the disintegration of his body could have come from any number of diseases he subjected himself to at the time, but with the nose basically rotting off, I’m guessing it was syphilis in combination with alcoholism.

Pink Tinsel?

First, it was the lack of pink santa hats in the stores... today, it is pink tinsel. Or even pink garland. Fuschia? Who the fuck decorates in fuschia for Xmas? That, my friends, is a sick mind at work.

14 Shopping Days Left

It’s a Saturday morning, and I can’t believe I am sitting here watching VH1 while researching fitness books and drinking my coffee…. Is this what life has come to in my 30s? **GASP** I AM IN MY 30s?!!? Damn, I’m a hop, skip and walker-assisted jump to “Fitness After 40” Ok, not really, but marketing would lead me to believe so. Actually, there was nothing as reassuring the other day than to learn Fergie is also the same age that I am and that she also has to work hard to look like she does. Why that was so reassuring, I can’t explain. Well, I might be able to, if I cared enough to right now, and I don’t. Rather, I’m faced with the reality that another birthday is coming on me… The Sagittarian season started this past week, and today, my lil’ niece turned a year old. It just doesn’t seem possible.

Many things don’t really seem possible to me lately. But they are and I continue to feel lost inside their flurry. As is usual, I will find my way. Until then, it’s time to go to the library, get some books on fitness (is their a fitness holy grail, I feel like there must be) and go to Target, because it is an obvious place to lose the blues???

Friday, November 24, 2006

Christmas Kitties


Well, the Barbie tree is up and as evidenced by the photo... already under seige from Jungle Beasts. Less than a few hours passed before the tree was near the end of the table, ornaments skewn across the floor. Currently, it is sadly leaning more than it should. We shall see howlong it lasts, but, um, I'm guessing it will be the end of the weekend before I've given up.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Untraditional Feasting

Well, I was excited by the menu today: Cheetos, Triscuits, cheese, Milky Way, Diet Cranberry Ginger Ale, bagel… The Cheetos made me sick, though… but I did enjoy everything else. I called the folks this morning and Dad asked what I was eating. When I answered that I had bought Cheetos, he asked, sincerely, “Do they make those without cheese?” That is when it occurred to me that perhaps I’m a little too obsessed over my fear of fat. I asked mom if she had put him up to it and she had not. She then asked me if the Triscuits were low fat and the cheese fat free. I advised that no, both were reduced fat, even if my cream cheese on the bagel was fat free. I noticed I even do have reservation in purchasing even the reduced fat versions. But, I’m doing what I said I would today and not focusing on the numbers. I’m still food tracking, because I think it is important overall, but I am not reading the totals. Tomorrow will be another day, I will be back at the gym, back to my usual diet—and I have to admit, I’m looking forward to it. Today has only reaffirmed my belief that an occasional indulgence is better than a reserved “day” because overall, I feel kind of crappy after eating the Cheetos and chocolate and drinking the soda. I’m not used to it, I’m starting to crave fruits and veggies and would really like some ice water. There’s no time like the present. And tomorrow, I will return to normal—with the leftover Cheetos already in the trash and the Rachel Ray covered box of Triscuits stored in the pantry and my soy milk replacing the soda bottle again.

Thanksgiving Day Movie Reviews

Today was movie day for me… and while I rented three, I’ve only managed to get through two. The other (The Libertine) will have to happen later this weekend. My limit, is apparently two movies.

Thanksgiving Movie Day Review #1: The Break Up

Mom originally called me a few weeks ago after buying this movie and asking me if I had seen it. I hadn’t and she advised that I should. She was upset by the ending. I finally got a copy this week. Today, I eager grabbed my Cheetos and cozied up on the chair expecting to have a few morning laughs as I usually get from Vince Vaughn (who I consider a brilliant comedic actor). I did get a few laughs, initially. Overall, I have to say, I spent more time with the box of Kleenex at this movie than I did laughing. A comedy? Not so much… and that ending that mom thought was a downer? Well, it was, but then so were the moments leading up to it.

While it was not what I was expecting, I did like the movie. I’ve been impressed with Jen Aniston since I saw her in “The Good Girl” as an actress, and she’s very successful in removing herself from being “Rachel.” All in all, not what I suspected, but a movie I will definitely watch again. Now the Cheetos, well that’s another post.



Thanksgiving Movie Day Review #2: Kinky Boots

The movie opens with the basic tenet that I’ve held for many years—perhaps forever—that you can tell everything about a person by their shoes. It’s after watching this movie, and considering the subject line that it becomes even more thought provoking an concept. Based on the true story of a man who inherits his family shoe making business, and turns to transvestite performer for help and inspiration in transforming the family business to save it by making kinky boots for transvestites, it is hailed as a comedy. Yet today is a movie day of deception when it comes to what a “comedy” is… or is not, as the case may be.

Kinky Boots is a fabulous movie, and it has its funny moments, but it is a genuine story about how two very different men on the outside are not as different as they seem. There is an awkward love story theme sewn in there—it isn’t as if the love story doesn’t fit entirely, but it is overkill in the concept of “finding our shoes.” Sometimes, a pair of kinky boots don’t really need a buckle, you know?

It’s feel good, it’s worth the rental fees, it is amazing acted by Chiwetel Ejiofor as Lola/Simon, whom I also remembered from Love, Actually, and continue to be impressed by. Definitely see it, and ask yourself: What do your shoes say about you?

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Wii What?

Now that I have some time off, there are a few things that I continue to be bothered by from earlier this week...

It was sometime earlier this week that I was entering Target that I saw a sign that read something about Wii going on sale. I had no idea what this was, and could care less, but upon my exiting the store, I noticed people started to set up tents and lying on the sidewalk in their sleeping bags. I looked around wondering if their was something signifying a real reason for camping out on a sidewalk in freezing temperatures. But, there was only the Wii sign… and hyper-chatter surrounding the release of Wii (which I came to learn was pronounced “we”). I also came to learn this was some form of Nintendo game thing and it apparently was a big deal. So much so that Isaiah Triforce Johnson, the first person to purchase the Wii console left his mother’s basement for more than a week prior to campout on a NYC street. His purchase was made directly from President of Nintendo, who graciously signed his console. Johnson, it seems was decked out in some kind of power glove (read: his imaginary super hero weapon) and some Zelda garb. It also seems, if MSN can be considered a reliable source, this individual legally changed a potion of his name in reference to Zelda and one of its “characters.” All I have to say, is dude, you really need to get laid… and that power glove and wearing your Zelda garb for over a week on the street for a game system to go on sale is pretty much the most effective form of birth control a guy can use. Not that I think you need to procreate… good god, no. But seriously, you have a sickness if you are camping out for a gaming console. Christ! Even die hard fans of the Stones have learned to buy online. I should think those wanting the gaming console would have known how to do this and then you would not have had to leave your “sweet set up” for any length of time.

Frozen turkey

Well, seems I lost the last post that I was writing in an unfortunate mishap of browser lock up. You will have to just trust me that it was absolutely brilliant and prolific and of course, very genius.

Basically, I'm grateful that the idiots out on the roads not following the basic tenets of traffic ordinances or human decency, out in their Thanksgiving Day flurry, did not kill me. And really, isn't this holiday supposed to be about the things we are thankful for--a time to slow down and reflect on things in life and not starting a fight with the manager of a Kroger because the line you are in isn't moving fast enough for you? Or not blowing through a red light at 45 mph so you can get on the highway 30 seconds sooner? I guess I'm the one with the skewed view on things.

Tomorrow, I've rented three movies I've been wanting to see: The Break Up, The Libertine and Kinky Boots... I've also gotten my yearly dose of Cheetos waiting on me, some cheese and crackers, chocolate (if needed, LOL) and Diet Cranberry Ginger Ale. The SuperGirl jammies are all ready for me and I'm thankful that I can curl up with my cats and relax.

Those of you traveling; subjected to torture by turkey; or some other weird food-related tradition, I bed you well.

Mahalo.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Christ like quotes

Family Guy is on TV... and I just heard the line...

::Lock and load, brides of Christ.::

I'm not sure the context, but I'm also not sure it matters--it's hysterically funny.

Book burning

That's right folks, we are havin' us a good ol' fashioned book burning... seems the plug was pulled on OJ's book and interview and orders shipped are being recalled. I'm sure someone will buy the rights to the sick fuck's escapade into bragging about how he killed his former wife and her friend--of course, IF he did it. Uh hunh.

Still the books printed will be destroyed. It's an interesting dilemma of first amendment issues. As much as I am opposed to the sick fuck writing a book about killing his wife, I'm opposed to the idea that it is now being banned. Of course, it IS the parent company to FOX.

Cat Behavior

So, physical exhaustion, emotional exhaustion... I'm quite tired, but alas, not sleepy, though I think it is closer than say, this time yesterday.

Tonight, it is a viewing of Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. I told Jake that SK was coming over and he's sitting in the window, looking for her--I swear that cat is part dog, or something. Further evidence of this would be everytime I ask him if he sees her, he flips his tail in wild excitement. Unlike a dog though, the best way to see her approach is to get cozy in a position that looks completely painful in a spot as high up as possible. The other cats, in cat-like fashion had no interest in the comment and walked into the other room. However, Calvin does have a new box that I brought home tonight, so I'm sure he will return soon, if only to sit in the box. It's only dignified.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Tired

Yesterday, I accomplished another goal, I made 2 miles on the cross-trainer in under 14 minutes. Could have been the distraction posed by the very nice looking LL Cool J-ish guy that happened upon an exercise bike in front of me. I went to the gym, thinking it would be fairly abandoned with the Michigan/OSU game underway, and that those there would be more of the older clientele... for the most part, I was right. Not sure where this eye candy came from, but I barely noticed that I was even on the cross trainer, or that my legs were completely tired.

Speaking of tired, I've had little sleep the last few nights and while my brain is functioning at a high speed, my body, as I type, is reminding me that it cannot necessarily maintain the speed at which my brain is working. My fingers are not quite typing as nimbly as they might, and I'm making a lot of errors. It is as if my body and brain are waging battle... my brain wants to "stay the course" and my body is saying "whoa, this might not be the best plan." While the bi-partisan debate continues, other functions of my body are not working as well as I would like either... digestion seems to be difficult and food is making me sick. Even the protein drink I opted to have to dinner is weighing heavy in my tummy. Typical course of my insomnia will result in a migraine and finally sleep. It seems strange to welcome a migraine but my body is tired. I do have sleeping pills, but that is not an optimal choice, nor is it one to consider at this point in time. Seems odd, I know, but sleeping pills are addictive if not used properly... and many times, they don't work anyway. You just don't take them until you "know."

Now, for all you well-intentioned folks out there with sure-fire milk concotions, tea remedies or Benedyl advice, it doesn't work. That kind of advice, though given with the best of intentions, is like telling someone with clinical depression to eat a chocolate bar--unless you have been there and lived with it your whole life, it might seem like it is all very cut and dry, but it isn't. While allergy and cold meds knock me out, when I can't sleep, they just make me drowsy--but still unable to sleep... or worse, you hallucinate. The idea with sleeping pills is they are a drug that effects the brain--supposed to help shut it off and in the process, usually shuts the body off. But the same things can happen--sleep walking is common, bizarre dreams, hallucinations. They do work, but my experience, while admittedly limited, it is only occassionally. I've refused sleeping pills for a long time and only finally took them last winter when after not sleeping on and off for weeks, I was desperate. I got 4-5 hours of sleep a night on them, but the dreams were horrible.

On that note, I have Vinnie-kitty lying next to me purring and the tv is on... perhaps it will lull me into slumber. If not, oh well. It's a very short work week for me... I have time to balance back out before next week.

Mahalo.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Recap, Training Week I

While I haven't yet officially put together a training schedule, I did do some killer time at the gym. There were a couple 2 hour days, which left me tired, but that was about it. The real deal was the 10 minutes I spent on the rowing machine waiting for a treadmill. Now, I rarely work the upper body, which is an admitted fault and I've been incorporating more into my week (pun not initially intended, but I liked it, so it stays). But back to the rowing machine. My shoulders were a little sore, but as the day progressed, and as my shoulders are where my stress goes, it became a rather painful afternoon. The headache is subsiding. Tomorrow will be another long workout day, but not before I update the play list...

A finer shade of Pink

As I was giving myself a nice little pedicure tonight, I was confounded by not quite having the right shade of pink for my toe polish. Now, I do have about 10 shades of pink; just, sadly, not the right shade. Oh, they are close, but as the tacky, over-used cliche goes... close enough only counts on the cover of Jane magazine. Damn, I guess that means tomorrow, I have to go shopping...

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Other things I'm opposed to

As I was posting my general disapproval of yodeling, I was reminded by the television that OJ Simpson has written a book on how he would have committed the murders of his former wife and her "friend." What a sick fuck. Those who have seen the interview have already performed their analysis on body language and linguistics... their conclusion? He's guilty. Um, yeah, there are apparently only 12 people in the world who think he's not guilty.

And, as much as I think OJ is a sick fuck for writing the book and parading it in a "sensational" interview, I find it wholly disgusting on the part of FOX for their contribution to hyping it. Why, you might wonder, would Fox do this (aside from the obvious fact that they are all about sensationalism TV so long as it benefits the religious right and GOP)? The company that published the book is the same that owns Fox.

I'm not sure which is worse, but you know, when you get to this point--does it matter?

Yodeling

Normally, and without any rationale reason (in case you think one might be necessary), I'm usually opposed to yodeling. It seems, however, that I have a case of Gwen Stefani yodeling it up in her new single, "Wind it up" vicously stuck in my head. I say vicous, because there is not any other way to describe the pain of having this stuck in my head... I do like the song, it's great for the treadmill, just bad hours later while trying to digest dinner.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Tiffany's

Ah, today's mail arrived, complete with a misdelivery... or rather to a wrong address--mine with the name of another individual... but the blue, thick package was more than familiar. It was the Tiffay's catalog. Such a nice reprieve from the usual array of junk mail and bills. I look forward to it with delight.

In the meantime, there are a few things I have found in the news over the last day that I find should be pointed out... for example, the Congo is addressing its homeless population in much the same way Rudy Guiliani did in NYC. Homeless children are a problem and arresting them for civil disobedience is the obvious answer... no one tell Dubya. Of course, Dubya has his own issues with refusing to provide immigrants with any semblence of rights. IS there any difference between arresting homeless children and detaining immigrants indefinately aside from which government is doing which? Sadly, not from where I'm sitting.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Movies for One

Enjoyed the movie, could have done without other people in the theatre. It was the first showing of Borat for the day; a 1 p.m. matinee so quite an uncrowded theatre... so why is it that a family of four has to practically sit on my lap? Literally, they sat right next to me--with two kids I wondered if they were even old enough to understand the movie, truly. But it was hysterically funny. Ever since a friend turned me on to Sacha Cohen just over a year ago, I've been laughing along with Borat, Bruno and Ali G.

But, what I find rather unamusing is the movie theatre. Aside from just plain bad behavior of other people, I really find it disgusting that a bottle of water is over $3, which, by the way, is the same price as a chocolate chip cookie. Still, the monetary price is not the reason I don't eat at the movie theatre, it is that they only offer up the cardiac specials. I'm thinking the movie theatre is one of the only places--unless McDonald's is popping corn lately--that can turn a healthy snack into a lard-ridden congolmerate of fat and calories. That isn't even taking into account the fried food. Just as much as I wished there was a non-caffienated, diet soda option, I wish even more than there were some healthy alternatives, because sometimes, I wouldn't mind a snack.

The food and cost really are not my deterrants to the movie theatres though, it truly is the other patrons. Maybe if I had gone with someone I wouldn't have noticed it but I tend to go it solo. I don't get a lot of time with my friends these days, and when we do, movies are not at the top of the list. Though I can think of a few people I would have enjoyed seeing this movie with, they aren't conveniently located to me anymore.

And now, it is time to cook some turkey.

Training Week 1

I'm finding that working out my week one training schedule is no different right now than working on my usual workout schedule for the week. I faltered a bit yesterday when I locked my keys in the car at Target and had to wait an hour for a tow truck... but though poorly dressed for the weather, I did walk the parking lot for 40 minutes while waiting. Not the rigorous cardio I had planned, but I made use of the time and poor situation. Besides, I would have to think that I burned more calories just trying to keep warm!

The struggle right now is how I will approach fundraising... and my assigned Walker Buddy--who also happens to be from Ann Arbor, now located in DC--has sent me a list of ideas. My goal is to review them this week and come up with some plans for creative and fun ways of raising the necessary $1800. I'm also having a hard time coming up with strength training exercises that I know I will do... but I will deal with that frustration and perhaps sign up for a strength training class.

And for today, I need to get in the requisite amount of coffee for a Sunday morning and check on movie times--I'm going to see Borat (finally) this afternoon. It is my mini reward for achieving the goals I set for myself in the last two weeks.

Until later...

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Busy, busy, Apparently

Where the hell have I been? No, I'm not so terribly distraught over Britney and K-fed's divorce that I've been hiding out, nor have I been celebrating the fall of Rumsfield... I've taken a few technology "breaks" this week and not logging in at home--hence, not here for your entertainment and amusement. My sincerest apologies.

Right now, I'm sitting in a coffee shop, trying to catch up on a few things in a less distracting atmosphere than my living room, but it would seem, that the guy yelling at the counter over the sell-out of bagels is proving to be a bigger distration than the need to vaccuum would have been. Fortunately, I'm nearly down with my various needs here and will be on my way shortly to conclude the necessary errands for a Saturday. I'm also hoping to catch a viewing of Borat this weekend. I think I can fit that into my schedule of nothingness.

There will be more later. Right now, I've had it with this coffee shop--the chair is hard and my ass not nearly as well padded as trying on jeans would leave me to believe... plus, there is the wicked annoyance of the bagel-dude who feels he should talk to the baristas via talking over the entire store.

By the way, this is fair notice... my birthday is rapidly approaching--you should really get shopping ;)

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Avon Walk for Breast Cancer

This evening, I registered for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer, which will be a 2-day, 39 mile walk in Washington DC on May 5 & 6. I've committed to not only going, but training and fundraising a minimum of $1800. I'm excited about the committment and hope others will be, too, and help me raise funds, encourage me to train in the dead of winter, and even come out with me for training on occassion.

Check out my personal page.

Sadly, only those of you unable to vote in this election have so gallantly stood by me in my campaign for governor… but you know, it isn't who you vote for as much as what you wear to vote. Of course, that could be the reason some of you ABANDONED me at the polls today. However, if you haven't voted yet, I'm still willing to overlook any fashion faux pas in exchange for your vote. Ew, how very candidorial of me.

Still I'm willing to concede at such an early hour that I have not be going to Lansing this term, but I have learned some major lessons on campaigning, which some of you may find helpful.

***Ask up front. Don't spend 10 minutes convincing people not registered to vote to vote for you.

***Plotting the annexation of a territory months prior to an election is not a good idea.

***Eliminate all photos from the previous summer in which you are drunk and naked on a golf course… or at least eliminate those in possession of said photographs.

***Never put in writing that last thought.

***Finally, never rely on the advice of a Pirate Majik 8 Ball that someone gave to you from a McDonald's Happy Meal. You just can't trust a pirate; or McDonalds.

Until the next election… Govnahlious signing OUT.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Baby Terror Cells

My suspicions were confirmed today; babies are nothing more than little terrorists. It's about time the governments got down to the brass tacks and started issuing arrest warrents for toddlers... little barely walking germ infestations drawing people into their realm of evil doing with a cute little smile and a SIPPY CUP OF TERROR.

Near Misses

There was nothing particularly bad about the day--though for some reason, it still sucked. Generally, when you feel lousy about a day, there is something that happened, something marked that you can point to and say: This is why my Monday sucked ass. But I can't. My all general recollections, the day should have been good... my office-mate loved her bday decorations another co-worker and I went in and "installed" yesterday; my meetings were few and generally decent; had a nice lunch with SK--who also told me some great dirty jokes; I got a lot of work done; didn't come back from the long weekend with a lot of email and such... but still, the day was a near miss.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Sitting out on Highway 61

Thursday evening, about just more than half way through Bob Dylan’s set, I realized not only was I listening to Dylan churn out a very bluesy version of Highway 61 Revisited, I was sitting on Highway 61.

While this was my sixth show, it was by far the best I’ve ever seen Dylan. And, it was delightful to hear him do Highway 61, it was even better that his arrangements were all very blues. It was phenomenal to hear Tangled Up in Blue, my personal favorite, get new life through the arrangement. Dylan often said that the lyrics were never quite right, or he was not satisfied… but perhaps, after hearing this rendition, it wasn’t the words, but the music.

Dylan, true-to-form spoke little. Mom commented that he never says much, and I suspect he’s been taken out of context so many times, it’s just better to not say anything and let the music say whatever needs saying. To that end, I’ve posted the set list at the end of this entry.

But, back on the Highway… let me first say, that the Foo Fighters opened with their acoustic tour, and they were phenomenal. Better than I expected. When we took our seats, there was nearly no one sitting near us. Shortly after the Foo Fighters left the stage, “Binoculars” and his wife showed up. Binoculars counted the seats out and made me move one. Keeping in mind there was no one else around. It seems that the row in front of us were added later for promotional purposes and were pretty much all empty. Enter a group of 3 young women five rows ahead. Then enter 3 seemingly gay men with their red wine three rows ahead. Meanwhile, Binoculars (so nicknamed because he was fussing with a pair of binoculars for about 5 minutes after he got himself, his coat, his soda, his popcorn and his chair settled. Unfortunately, in getting all that settled, his wife did not get settled and continued to come to and fro, disturbing me immensely.

The show starts.

Three’s company in the rows ahead somewhat merge in a weird paradigm of awkward flirtation perpetuated by excessive red wine consumption. They were standing and dancing (badly), which prompted Binoculars to begin screaming at the top of his lungs for them all to sit down as he could not see. Binoculars was not pleased when they refused to be seated. He also, apparently, had no concept that I was seated next to him, though one might imagine that my ribcage and leg restricting the weird and awkward movement of his elbow and knee would alert him to such a fact, but apparently not. Finally, Binoculars and his wife, who was just as vocal and uncontented as her husband, moved to another row so they did not have someone standing in front of them.

But, while Binoculars exits, a whole new posse enters. A group of several women, all approximately a size 14-16 but seemingly only able to squeeze themselves into a size 10. The belt buckles, crop shirts, big hair (think 1980) and excessively troweled on make up of the women and big-ass hat of the guy were a slight distraction, but I was still horrified. The two older in the group of about 8 folded up the chairs in their aisle, the one right in front of me, and began flailing around in what I can only imagine was their hopped up version of the “white man overbite” dancing. Fueled by obviously large amounts of alcohol, they continued dancing, and thankfully, the one who began stripping, refrained before things got really ugly. The Dude would dance, then suddenly collapse in a chair, only to pop up suddenly, and unexpectedly and start all over again.

Binoculars and his bride, at one point, nearly started a fight with the woman as she “shimmied” her boobs near them. Occasionally, we noticed them yelling at someone, and had a bet going as to which one would start the first fight.

Aside from the side show, there seemed to be an abundance of self-proclaimed Dylan experts (who interestingly did not refer to themselves as Dylanologists) yaked on incessantly through the show. Because, when you are such an expert, you really aren’t interested, apparently, in hearing the man perform live. I’m guessing that a self-proclaimed Dylan expert means that they have watched “No Direction Home” and maybe read a Rolling Stone interview. POSSIBLY they have read Chronicles, and even more unlikely, they’ve hunted down a copy of “Don’t Look Back”… But I’m guessing they could only name 5 albums and could not have identified most of the set list—if only because they didn’t shut the fuck up the whole time.

Still, I had a great time. He ended the show on a high with (again) a more bluesy version of Like a Rolling Stone and the electrified Hendrix version of All Along the Watchtower… which seemed quite appropriate….
"There must be some way out of here," said the joker to the thief,
"There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief.
Businessmen, they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth,
None of them along the line know what any of it is worth."

"No reason to get excited," the thief, he kindly spoke,
"There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.
But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate,
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late."

All along the watchtower, princes kept the view
While all the women came and went, barefoot servants, too.

Outside in the distance a wildcat did growl,
Two riders were approaching, the wind began to howl.

Copyright © 1968; renewed 1996 Dwarf Music
Bob Dylan’s Set list from November 2, 2006: Palace of Auburn Hills--MICHIGAN

1. Cat's In The Well
2. Señor (Tales Of Yankee Power)
3. Stuck Inside Of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again
4. Spirit On The Water
5. High Water (For Charley Patton)
6. Positively 4th Street
7. Cold Irons Bound
8. Visions Of Johanna
9. 'Til I Fell In Love With You
10. Tangled Up In Blue
11. Highway 61 Revisited
12. Nettie Moore
13. Summer Days

(encore)
14. Thunder On The Mountain
15. Like A Rolling Stone
16. All Along The Watchtower