Great Golly Grape Soda, Batman--Kill the Spider!

So, I'm kicking back this afternoon to a bevy of emails, phone calls and requests with my Diet Grape Faygo Soda, some Peanuts and a wicked headache from the near death experience that was driving from Downtown Ann Arbor to home from lunch during the crux of student move-in time when lo and behold there is a jumpy spider of gigantic proportions on the wall. I look to Jake and ask how the hell this got in here... and Jake, in cat-like fashion, gave me a look of an incredulous nature and went about cleaning his paw for the 9th time in an hour.

Being the Supergirl that I am, however, I grabbed my handy can of Raid Spider Killer and lightly misted the area of the intruder. I think I heard it cough slightly as if it were suddenly seated in the smoking section, and moved over on the wall a few inches. Confused, I looked at the can in my hand, and yes, indeed, it is Raid Spider Killer... the stuff that has not once failed me. So I sprayed again. Jake moved from his afternoon perch in front of the entertainment center--annoyed by the spraying, but the spider was apparently issued some kind of protectant armour. I sprayed yet a third time, and felt panic setting in... I do believe the spider to be gone--if nothing else, it is now abundantly aware of it's unwelcomed-ness and has left (hopefully spreading the word about the gas chamber that awaits any other visitors).

Meanwhile, Jake has moved to his late afternoon location near the shoes. And is still working on that same paw... must be a bugger of a chore and would explain, really, the need for several naps. Vinnie, on the other hand, stomped out from the bedroom a while ago, sighed heavily in looking at near empty kibble dishes and stomped out to the balcony. Note that I said, NEAR EMPTY. They get a serving in the morning and in the evening... there is still morning kibble in the dishes and apparently, this is not adequate coverage. He didn't eat more than a few bites, but I guess it would be rude to eat the last of the kibble, because god knows when I might feed them again.

Vinnie Doth Protest - Severely

Well, nearly a full week into the feline diet regime, Vinnie came stomping out of the bedroom (the way only a 28 pound cat can) on two separate occassions today, threw himself on the floor and bitched. He was not out of kibble, and on one occassion got his daily treats, which he seemingly boycotted for several minutes in some kind of tantrum I am not familiar with... because I tell you--put a Butterfinger on the table next to me, you'll be lucky if I don't take your fingers off grabbing it. Of course, that could just be early onset PMS.

Yo, Haters... Some R-E-S-P-E-C-T

So, when you are at the stoplight checking me out, nodding your approval and my playlist switches from a tag team of Kanye West and Talib Kweli over to something like Bob Dylan or Warren Zevon, I will admit it is a bit surreal, but it in no way makes me a poser.... so mouthing that as you peel off at the light not only makes you a hazard on the road, but an utter jackass of proportions you couldn't count--even if you got nekkid. Get some skooling... Kanye and Talib would even smack you up your heads for that fake shit.

LifeTime: Television for Dad

Not too long ago, I hung up the phone with mom. She called after watching last nights season finale of Army Wives with dad. She had watched it last night, but dad was working and didn't get to see it. If you are unfamiliar or haven't seen it yet, I won't ruin it, but I will say it ends with the typical over-dramatic plotline that is not only customary of Lifetime, but also of the show itself.

Apparently, during the airing, there were advertisments for one of the many the "What Happened to Diana" movies that they show depicting the various conspirarcies surrounding the death of Princess Di... as one would expect given the upcoming anniversary of her death next week.

And, as is customary to my father, he began to speculate... first on Army Wives, his speculation is that the entire cast is wiped out come the next season opener.... because THAT would make sense. Then it was onto what did happen to Diana?? I suspect his viewing of any movie concerning the late princess will be like the Titanic all over again, i.e. Why did they sink the boat and kill all those people?

I love my dad and his endearing hope that when they make a movie based on actual events, that they will be very loosely based and end happily ever after this time. And I have to admire that thought that if you could do it over, and tell the story another way, why not change what you didn't like?

Of course, it isn't as endearing when our administration does the same thing... but then, I digress.

Mahalo.

A little coffee talk

Another lovely Sunday morning spent drinking a gallon of coffee, loaded with milk that will no doubt make me ill later and a plethora of chemical sugar substitute that probably has caused cancer in lab rats worldwide. In one of those moments when the 5 year old companion to the group excuses himself to the bathroom, the sentence is happily uttered, "I love porn."

We have no more than 2 minutes before said child will return and the conversation has to cease.

"But I like my porn with some substance and plot around it."

"Depends on the day for me. Sometimes I just want to get to the point."

"I"m a visual girl, I don't like to read my porn."

"Yeah, the older I get I like it to have some substance, but you're right some days you just don't care."

And there you have it... to the soundtrack of some obscure alterna-folk band... the Sunday morning porn talk.

If nothing else, this will direct (again) those searching for porn star Nikki Blonde back to this blog.

Diet Cat Food

For the last several weeks, I've been thinking about the vet's advice to put Vinnie on a diet cat food. She, of course, recommended a prescription food. I've been down the Rx food for cats road before... and I'm sure his refusal to eat it would result in lost weight... but it's twice as expensive as any cat food on the market and I'm moving in 26 days... so it may not be entirely practical.

Still, I'm concerned with his weight and refusal to come out from under the bed a large part of the day where I can get him to move around and play. So I did a little online research and decided that I would try Innova cat food. They make a reduced fat version of their food and from what I've read, many people have had success alone with the regular version simply because it is a high protein, low carb food more in tune to a cat's natural diet.... whatever "natural" means--I know I joke my boys are jungle beasts, but I don't see them lasting a day on the Serengeti if they had to get their own bunnies and birds. Ok, MAYBE Calvin would, but that is a big maybe.

Today was the big day. I went to PetSuppliesPlus and picked up a bag of the food at more than twice what their usual kibble costs. But, I was excited. I came home and, as you do when you completely switch cats' food, mixed it with their current kibble. It seems to be a big hit overall and I'm sitting back waiting for a svelte kitty to come traipsing out of the bedroom anytime. Maybe that is a big over-eager, but I for some reason really do expect to see the weight fall off them like someone wrote about in their review... cause if Wikipedia has taught us anything at all, it's that corporate people don't sneak in on the sly and review their own products, right?

When doctors have "good" intentions....

It is being reported today that the AMA (that’s the American Medical Association) is spending $5 million dollars on a campaign aimed at getting the uninsured health insurance…. They report that 1 in 7 in the United States do not have health insurance… that sounds about right. The campaign, of course, is launching during elections for a reason. They are lobbying for their plan in Congress—tax credits and more federal funding of government programs.

Not to sound like Michael Moore on a pseudo-documentary rant, but wouldn’t $5 million be better used, I dunno, providing health care to those that need it rather than full page color ads in the NYTimes and USA Today?

Wisdom of the Ages

The following topic has come up several times over the summer, and rather than informing those of my wisdom in a single file fashion, I decided that it should be communicated via a larger forum... if only because now I'm bored with the conversation, and perhaps this will spice it up a bit.

TOPIC: MEN, THE VEHICLES THEY DRIVE AND WHAT SAID VEHICLE SAYS ABOUT SAID MAN.

So, everyone knows when you see the 45+ guy cruising with the top down in his red convertible, he's best avoided both on the road and when in other habitats. His car says he will take you to an expensive restaurant, but he's going to expect something more if you order the lobster.

But... what about the other cars on the road (and in the local tavern parking lot)? Well, I'm here to give you a semi reasonable breakdown on how to stereotype men in just a few seconds.

SUVs: They want you to know they are trendy and hip, but they are way too insecure.

Large trucks (think F150 or equivalent and larger): Their truck is compensating for other areas of their physical appearance.

Jeeps: NSA (no strings attached) Fun.

Hybrids: Politics will take the place of sex.

Station wagon: Look for the tan lines from the ring and/or the car seat.

Sporty looking cars (think Cougar, Eclipse, etc): In training for the convertible.

PT Cruiser, Cooper, etc: Look for the boyfriend or the ring tan line.

Now, you may be wondering... do I need to find a guy on a bike with a backpack? The answer is quite simply, no... but guys on motorcycles are a 50/50 gamble (just in case you were wondering). You want to find the winner?

Here's the key: Look for the guy whose vehicle is simply some wheels. If he is jamming out in a four-door 1999 Hyundai like no one is looking... he's probably a keeper.

Cake, Squats and A Cat's Life

The week started a bit rough... I wasn't feeling good, the rain had no end in sight and a piece of red velvet cake made me so ill on Monday I wanted to throw up, but could not. I have a very strong aversion to vomiting... probably why I will never succumb to bulimia in the traditional sense.

Tuesday's PT session found me working with the trainer after my round with the PT... he had me work on lunges and squats. My thighs hurt so bad today, because I also went running twice yesterday, that I could only manage a third of a mile running today and did the rest speed walking and the trainer told me he wasn't going to torture me with anything else today.

But working from home, while I am more than beginning to loathe it and feel very much like a hermit, has some interesting sides. My cats, for example... in order that they are not lying on my keyboard and traipsing on the table where there just isn't the room for them, they must have a chair right next to mine... and I would say that at most times of the day, it is occupied. Many times, with a paw resting on my thigh. Also interesting is that in the 2.5 weeks I've been home, there have been no instances of Flying Spaghetti Monsters... apparently, they are not inclined to wreak their special brand of havoc on kitties when humans are present.... despite the absence of the FSM, Vinnie is still mindful of the ceiling fan and, I've learned, spends most of the day under the bed.

The great shopping sojourn ends Blonde Energy.

It was a cold and all around blechy Saturday, the kind of day only suitable for roaming the mall, eating too many carbs and spending more money than one should with an impending move--especially when it was money not spent on move-related expenses. Though, one may argue that Victoria Secret (VS, here on out) purchases are, in deed, necessary for one to move... as is a large, seemingly purposeless green box 4 times the size of the bottle of Covet that comes with it in a special, exclusive Macy's deal. Of course, I got the lime green box and the little goodies that came with it--why wouldn't I? And yes, I admit, I am shamelessly inspired by certain celebrities.... and Sarah Jessica Parker is one of them. So when she release a new scent, with a fabulously charming advertising campaign--I had to covet it. Was that an obvious pun?

VS, on the other hand, was a huge hassle. I know my bra size there--it's quite consistent from style to style, which is good because if there is anything more that I hate to try on outside of jeans, it is bras. I'm also pretty much stick to Body by Victoria for everyday bras. They are comfortable, classic but pretty and if I forget to change into a sports bra, don't kill me on a work out. Upon getting over to the section that carries the unlined version of the Body by Victoria I quickly learned that this "new" release is new in that they no longer make it in my size. That must have left a big WTF on my forehead because the salesgirl came running over (ok, admittedly, you can't walk through VS without being barraged by salesgirls, especially when you walk in braless!!). She explained that no, the 34B was no longer being made in this style, but I could get the padded or the pushup in that size, or I could get the cotton style (not Body by Victoria). I decided to try, after much conversing, the cotton in my size, and a 36B in the one that I wanted.

So, here I am, in the VS fitting room, which, if you have never been, is always an experience. The cotton one, of course fit, but I didn't want a 100% cotton bra... I have one, I almost never wear it. The 36B was too big, so I asked for a 34C... taking a chance, yes, but I really needed to replace some bras and I was determined to do it on this trip... without padding or push up involved. Here comes the salesgirl back, with a 34C in a push up demi. There is more padding in this bra than what I'm trying to corral with the garmet and so I send her back to get the right style. Fortunately, if I latched the 34C one eyehook tighter, it works perfectly, and I can say, for one instance, I'm a C cup without padding or inserts. It's very exciting.

And I don't know if it was the shopping trip in general, the need to feel daring and do something to shake up my life... but I leave you with this thought: I finished the day up at Target buying Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches (which I don't suffer illness from like I do most all other ice cream) and a bottle of hair dye. For the first time in perhaps forever, I am not a blonde. At all.

General Updates in the Life of....

Here we are with almost another week passing us by... where does the time go? I can assure you, my time has gone much to work for me. This is week two of working from home, and while I have been a little bit better at the balancing act this week than last, I still find it too easy to work away the time. And not getting the other things done that life requires.... like packing and preparing for the move.

I have a plan though, and that is to forego my evening run; indeed, I already gave up my morning run in lieu of physical therapy... but with a raging headache barely being kept in check with some Tylenol, and the visit to the garden checked off the list at lunchtime, I feel that accomplishing such necessities as laundry, making dinner, showering, shaving my legs, and vegging out for an hour with my new Shape magazine. I can, and will, run tomorrow... and, I have a massage scheduled in the afternoon. And, what I would really like to do if I knew I could still meet my deadlines, is take tomorrow afternoon off.... but it would only mean working over the weekend... and there will be time this fall to take vacation time and explore my new City.

Now, if only this stuff would pack itself. I'm getting rid of a lot of stuff, too, on this move. It feels good. Normally, I panic at the thought of getting rid of any of my shoes, but not this time... it means more room for new ones later! Clothes are also being cleaned out; it's a good feeling. The last time I cleaned out my closets and life, it wasn't such a good feeling--it was terrifying and sad. This time, I think I would toss most everything if I could afford to... but given the outrageous cost to get a document notarized, and that I needed 9 done, well, there went a new pair of shoes....

But this weekend is the Ypsi Heritage Fest, which should prove an interesting opportunity for people watching and such. I plan on spending some time there, getting some packing accomplished and I might even get crazy and watch a movie as several have been recommended to me of late. I shall also be found at Bombadill's on Sunday as is and has been my plan for the month of August. Too bad I didn't find that place earlier...

On that note, laundry is piled up staring at me.

All Hail Kanye

The last week or so, I've been listening to Kayne West's latest single, "Stronger." I've been somewhat amused by some of the lyrics; especially the painting of what seems like a bar pick up scene and Kanye's insistence that it is what God wants. Still, the song is strong and sexy... and not entirely exclusive of the words and music, West adds a significant amount of raw energy to it. So, when I came across this article indicating 50 Cent will stop releasing solo albums if Kanye's forthcoming "Graduation" outsells 50's forthcoming work to be released the same day.

I don't care if you download via iTunes, buy it in person at Target or order it via Amazon -- I urge you all to get the latest Kanye West album on September 11. Together, we can overcome further 50 Cent works 'in da club.' Better yet, PRE ORDER, according to Amazon, Kanye is currently #36 in the best seller list based on pre-orders, with 50 lagging back about 100 spots.

Tuna, the Tasty Treat

This morning found me at Beaner's struggling to push open a door that was only to be opened by pulling... tis a sad thing the DTs of caffeine. But, I made it in, and then out again with a coffee and bagel, then it was to farmer's market where I purchased some cucumbers, carrots, cabbage and a cookie.... which reminds me, I still have half a cookie I should remove from my bag... but I digress. Upon getting home (after a side trip to Bed, Bath and Annoying Salespeople Beyond) I made myself a huge salad which I topped with cucumbers, tomatoes, almonds and tuna. Since I cannot eat a whole can of tuna and never seem to use the remaining contents before they get yucky, I often give half to me, and half to the cats. Today was no exception.

And, as I sit here picking at what is left of my salad, I am amused to watch the boys roll into the living room, fresh from the feast and clean themselves for a good 30 minutes--as if they plunked into the water, pulled the fish from its very depths, dismantled it fin to gill and had a tasty lunch. In their minds, I guess, they simply did not stroll up to a plate and eat tuna, it probably was the result of the hunt. Now, they are all stretched out like gumby kitties in various positions, purring and obviously clean.

Is it Friday, yet?

It's been a long week... today feels like it should be Friday, but given the amount of work on my plate, it's probably good that it isn't. The good news is that I put together and met the deadline I said I would for the first major milestone in my big project.... in between all the other projects and being pulled in 12 directions. Ah, if only I were gumby some days. Still, for my first week working from home, an amazingly large amount of work has been done, and in an amazing number of hours for it already being Thursday.

Since I was home this week, I did the test run on tranquilizers for the trip to PA... not for me, though that isn't a half bad idea, but rather, kitties. Now that the concern for bad side effects has been alleviated, and I have been slightly amused by the ordeal, I can check it off my list and move on.

This was also to be my last day of physical therapy today... but as I explained to the PT that the pain seemed to have moved from the back side of my hip to the top front side and she checked the area out and well, the pain was more intense than getting inked on the shin bone... and there may still be finger marks in the table I was lying on. In fact, I still hurt somewhat and am due to ice soon. Ice and then bed.., I am determined to get up and go running (or speed walking, depending on pain level) before I start work tomorrow. I did this Monday and it was terrific.... and then the rain. Tomorrow morning, I go rain or shine.

Lazy, rainy Sunday

There were so many good intentions gone awry today. I had planned to work for a good 3-4 hours... I lasted an hour. The rain put a damper on the gardening plans for the day and it all just went downhill from there.

I did manage to do some cooking; and in a last ditch effort to feel productive, I have gathered together the laundry, packed up a box of books and gathered together many of the items I will be donating to various organizations if I cannot find one to take it all.

Mostly, though, I'm just feeling run down and whiny. I did go to Bombadills this morning for a few hours and did get some writing done, and got several emails written I might not have otherwise. Today is the perfect day to kick back and watch a movie... and I would love to go see either Talk to Me or 10 Questions for the Dalai Lama... both of which are playing today, except that I know that the air conditioning would be more than I could handle. It's low 70s right now, and I'm already a bit chilled... can't image going into another establishment (a quick trip to Kroger for cilantro proved nearly fatal).

Decidedly, the best possible course of action is to sit on my ass in front of the TV the rest of the day and try to at least force liquids down, because aside from my three large cups of coffee at Bombadill's, I've managed to drink 2 whole glasses of water, and that was an effort that resulted in nausea. I guess, I'm afraid that if I sit down and stop moving around for more than 5 minutes and just relax, I will realize that I'm actually not feeling very good at all... and since I really don't like that, it is easier just to run around and find things to do. Though, admittedly, I don't think I can do that much longer either--one way or another, it finds a way to sneak up on you.

On that note, I'm certain a shower will be the corrective cure for what troubles me... indeed, why didn't I think of that earlier?! I'm sure if I had, typing would not have turned into such a painful event right about now.

Ciao...

Cool Nip on Hot Dayz

I'm not sure if an 85 degree day constitutes a break in the heat wave, but regardless it seems to be one of the few days that no one is griping about how hot it is... these same people will be bitching come February about how cold it is... but whatever... I love it. Even if it means that the cats have to stay in and the AC is on -- they don't seem to understand that 95 degrees will melt their fur and singe their whiskers and generally lead to my having to clean vomit off the rug, the latter of which causes me to shut the balcony door and leave the air on. But their reward for today, aside from an open door is cat nip fresh from my run on the bike trail. I returned with three stalks and Jake has comandeered all of them; greedily lying on two while chewing on the third--his eyes rolling back in his head. But, Vinnie has emerged from the bedroom, and will put the smack down on Jake to claim what is rightfully his.

What I would really like today, is to turn on the ceiling fans, but I know I will never get Vinnie out from under the bed if I did, and he could have a heart attack. Last weekend, on my trip to Chicago, I left HGTV on for the kitties... upon my return, I found Vinnie sitting on the ottoman watching it. Upon mentioning this to mom, she said HGTV shows are always taking down ceiling fans and he was probably quite enthralled with these wonderful people. I'm not sure about that, but I wanted to leave the TV on for them and HGTV seemed the safest bet.

This morning found me at the Farmer Market. Since my cucumber plants produced only 3-4 cucumbers and died, I bought several--and tomatoes too. Now, I do have about 8 tomato plants in the garden on the verge of producing ripe tomatoes, but who can wait--and are there ever too many tomatoes in the summer? I also picked up two bouquets of sunflowers. They are lovely around the apartment. The cats could seem less interested in them--especially with some greenery of their own now and they make me happy.

I was thinking about my move on the run, from which I am still sweaty and in need of a shower, but I'm not sure I'm done just yet... I might have more run in me still today; I haven't decided... but I digress quickly. I was thinking about gardening next summer in Philly. I saw community gardens there, and it might be a good idea, but I also want to try gardening some on my balcony, and wonder how the boys might respond to large pots of dirt...? Will they be as disinterested in them as they are so much of what I do, or will they see them as convenient litter boxes outside? I guess time will tell.

In the meantime, Jake and Vinnie are about to get into a knock-down, drag-out fight over a stalk of nip... while two remain off to the side, alone, the two of them are both in need of the same piece, and apparently, there is only one quality leaf on the stalk and they both must have it. Perhaps more running is indeed in store.

Mahalo.