When Octopi Rule the Ice

My friend Lauren sent me this article, which I had seen the day previous, and quite frankly, the year previous to this... as it is a big controversy in Michigan when the Red Wings enter the Stanley Cup Finals.

Here is my somewhat edited response to her:

Well, first and foremost, you have to understand the great octopi over population in Michigan. We didn't have anything to do with them for years, and frankly, still don't. No doubt this ruling has caused countless gang related octopi incidents that remain unsolved in the Motor City today.

Second to that potential deadly situation, lies another brutal contingency while less noted, is certainly no less grave than the first. Fear of the octopi. Now, none of these manly men of the ice are willing to admit it, but there is irrational fear of the octopi that is on ice--it is WHY these men are not swimmers, Lauren, they stick to environments where the chance of gooey legged sea creatures seemed nil. Little did they realize some back woods yahoo with more money than any one not running for president should have would get sea creature crazy. Without question, this man wanted to be a pirate, but didn't have the stomach for it.

Beating each other senseless with sticks? Well, really, let's assess how much sense many of these players had to start with... I don't want to be judgemental (but we know I am), but it's the chicken or the egg question... raging streaks of violence controlled under the guise of sport--I bet these guys don't have an EAP.

And there you have it. :) An answer and the first bit of writing from Hemingway Weekend... not exactly bull fighting, but um, in Michigan, it isn't dudes fighting the bulls we have had to worry about ;)