The last week has found me a student of Six Sigma... formally. In a mere five days I was barraged and completed Green Belt training in Minneapolis. Unfortunately, I didn't see much of the city--at all. A 730-530 daily schedule, pending migraine and raging bout of insomnia found me vending my dinners quickly and not as efficiently as I would have hoped from the Mall of America, which was the only thing relatively close.
To those who have asked or would ask... I did not shop -- for much the same reason as I did not do much of anything else. I tried desperately and without much real effort to find a sweatshirt without a hood (lack of sleep and migraine combined with overpowering AC made me VERY cold all the time). But a pair of shoes did catch my eye at Steve Madden...
I did, however, meet some great people, and some folks with whom I work daily with, but have never had the pleasure of meeting live and in person. And, I did accomplish the purpose of the trip... as I am somewhat certain that I passed the final exam. The coming weeks will find me embarked on my certification journey... Pareto charts beware.
As usual, my travel was riddled with delays, the unusual and inanely dumb. After a mere three some hour delay out of PHL on Sunday night, we were told the ramp would be reopened and we would be 7th in line for take off... keep in mind, prior to the ramp again being closed (thunderstorms) we were told we were 3rd in line for take off. The following happened...
--the guy 5 rows up started to freak out at the sound of the engine gearing back up and demanded to know what was wrong with the plane, causing panic to those around him. The flight attendant gave the usual elevator speech, which was not easily digested.
--The guy next to me, who already voiced his belief that the airlines were out to get him personally, began pontificating further the conspiracy theory with the gentleman in front of him--both of whom on occasion looked to me for affirmation.
--The woman next to me had 5 conversations in her cell phone before looking at me and asking if I thought the flight attendant would let her off the plane. She did not understand the concept of being on an active run way--no where near the gate. Apparently, they do things a bit differently in Kansas City.
--The idiot man who had to be damn near 7 feet tall (and was as dumb as he was tall) decided he simply could not wait to go to the bathroom. I had encountered him in the airport when he did not seem to comprehend that his backpack was an extension of his body and it really did bother me when it smacked me in the head twice. Not only could he not hold it... he felt the need to get his backpack out of the overhead, put it on and casually stroll to the back of the plane. I had hoped we would take off with him in there, but we did not.
--Meanwhile, the conspiracy raged on my right as I was instructed to "LOOK" out the window and provide my assessment on why planes were not taking off quickly enough... did I notice there was a good 4-5 minutes between planes???
The flight home was not nearly as annoying or reportable... but I have come to the conclusion that men of a certain age, wearing a certain style of yuppie backpack with 2 small children in tow, have completely diminished any brain cell activity--apparently in exchange for sperm and EMS (that's Eastern Mountain Sports, not emergency medical services) gear. No doubt karma will come back to kick them in the ass when their 17 year old daughters come home with the fear flavor of the moment... and I plan to be in the airport to witness this 14 years or so from now.
But being home is good. Even if every muscle in my body aches and my migraine is still weaving its tendrils around the lobes of my brain.
