I'm not old, just "retro"

Because I have some sense of social decency, I did not proclaim the following things out loud today while out shopping, but MUST get them out before they implode my head.

1. A tunic is not a dress. Nylons are not pants. Please go home and put pants on.

2. OMIGOD I just stepped back to 1980.

Phew! That's better... now I just have to figure out how to stop the scortching of my retinas and life should be good.

Number one, I think, goes without saying... and frankly, I don't feel like reliving it if you can't put it together.

Number two: I went shopping for spring and summer wear today. I walked into H&M, and amazingly it was once I PASSED the Madonna line that things got shady... and frighteningly very "retro." But it was when I stepped into Forever 21 (because they don't make a Forever 29, okay!?) that I was completely horrified. My mother warned me that someday, retro would be what I used to wear... and there it was, the fabulously plastic jewelry, the unflattering shoulder pads, and equally unflattering ribbed waisted shirts with poufy tops and off the shoulder necks. There was a time when oh, I wished I could buy all that wonderful fashion and wear it how it was MEANT to be worn, sadly that was 20 years ago and today, I can afford it, but I simply cannot. The sadness of the moment was not lost on me as I dragged myself into Sears to buy some "classic" summer shirts... my god, am I really this old?

And with the shopping expenditure, I've found that no matter how much I try, I just can't hack going into Ambercrombie and Fitch. I know their pants might have a chance of actually fitting me well... NOONE shopping in there has hips either... okay baby got back and that might pose a problem in A&F but I can't even begin to try. The store reeks of cologne that makes me sneeze and I stepped in, saw the Daisy Duke shirts and turned and walked right back out again. And at least Jessica Simpson made that last reference relevant again, cause I'm guessing Catherine Bach is a reference enjoyed by those who wore one big loopy earring and some leg warmers way back before it was retro. And apparently, leg warmers are now called footless thigh highs... or so said the package in Hot Topic today... Yes, Hot Topic is one more place I'm slowly being edged out of... I mean MY GOD, when did Blondie make a come back? Oh, right, they didn't--they are just fashion fodder. They did make music, do the under 20-somethings know this? Do they learn these things in school?

The Sunday Sermon

Not so much a sermon as I haven't had much time since Wednesday... mom came in for the weekend on Thursday afternoon and just left a few hours ago.

Thursday evening, we went to see Bob Seger at Cobo in Detroit. It was a Code Red on the mullet alert; and I have to say, I never thought I would bear witness to such a thing, but there was a grey-hair man (okay, there were LOTS of grey-haired men) with not only a mullet, but somehow combined in a combover. The show itself was good... Seger is a great performer... Uncle Kracker opened for him, Kid Rock made an appearance to do the song they recently recorded together, but for a guy who can rock, he is the epitome of hard core white rockers--rythymless off a musical instrument. I swear, he did a lot of double Sprinklers and generally white man dancing--and not even to the beat of his own music. Thank god he came into his 40 years ago, he'd never survive now if he had to break into the scene. Still, I couldn't help but laughing between bouts of being horrified.

Last night, mom and I went to see Music & Lyrics... I can't remember laughing so hard. Hugh Grant is priceless and nails the 80s hairband has been. The "video" of him with his 80s band at the beginning is well worth the price of admission. It's Wham! meets Flock of Seagulls... and even Grant can't seem to make it through without laughing at the ridiculousness of it. It's a fluffy romantic comedy that you totally expect from Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore, and quite light on the romantic, too, but it's there. The plot, eh, who needs one with one-liners like "I'll show you the roof; it's upstairs" and "That Debbie Gibson can sure take a punch" who needs a plot. Besides, Hugh Grant gets his now infamous hip thrust "dance" in at every chance--and if you can't enjoy a middle-aged Brit doing his best Elvis, then up your medication.

And the cats have also survived a weekend of company... just barely. Seems grandma is not to be trusted and must be watched, hidden from and otherwise all the ills of the mistreatment they receive here communicated at every chance. They are now all sprawled out over the living room, sleeping and recovering from I'm not sure what... having to inspect bags, I suppose. Well, I did vaccuum, and that always requires that they take a nap... it's exhausting for them, you know.

As for me, I'm going to finish getting the rest of my laundry together so when I return from the gym and grocery shopping, I can get that done and outta the way for another week. Otherwise, that's all I got for now.